Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

I agree that when applying for jobs many employeers asking personal information such as person hobbies and their interest additionally what their matrial status and other personal info, according to me sometimes these information might be useful for employers with these information employers can have a idea and they can assign task to that person, for example if a person is married then they will be little bit soft with them if it is field job they will not send him/her too far. Employers can also evaluate the employee on how they are answering the hobbies and interest question.

If I talk about on the other hand, sometimes I feel collecting these information from a emplyee is irrelevant with respect to the job, there is no connection to these information with what employees job duties, rather employers should focus more on what skills, ideas and other innovations thinking employee is having, because these information can be helpful for employer while assigning any task to employee, if someone is having is good potential towards work employer can put him in difficult, critical or urgent tasks any time and they will surely get a good outcome from that employee which will directly going to help employor.

According to my own, all the employers should focus more only on employee knowledge rather than collecting there personal information, these details are completely persoanl to employee and there is no benifits to employee, and everyone should get rights to keep such personal information private and only they can decide if they want to share it or not.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views—that personal information is useful for employers and that it is irrelevant—and provides an opinion. However, the ideas remain somewhat limited and under-developed, reflecting a partial treatment of the prompt. For example, the argument that employers might go easy on married staff in field jobs is presented superficially without deeper elaboration. Similarly, the conclusion reiterates the writer's stance without fully synthesising the arguments. To reach a higher level, the ideas need to be extended with clearer explanations, more robust reasoning, and better-developed examples that directly support the two contrasting perspectives.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

There is a coherent overall arrangement to the essay, dividing the introduction, opposing views, and conclusion into distinct paragraphs. However, the cohesion is sometimes faulty and mechanical, relying on repetitive transitional phrases or run-on sentences without adequate punctuation. For instance, sentences like 'If I talk about on the other hand, sometimes I feel...' lack smooth integration and precise referencing. Pronoun referencing is also occasionally unclear, such as when 'these information' refers broadly to preceding clauses. Improving logical progression and using a wider, more accurate range of cohesive devices would elevate the organisational quality of the response.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is limited and barely adequate for the task. There are frequent lexical errors and issues with word forms, spelling, and collocation that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. Examples include 'employeers' instead of employers, 'matrial status' instead of marital status, and 'innovations thinking' instead of innovative thinking. The writer also repeatedly uses phrases like 'these information' and 'employers can have a idea,' demonstrating a lack of precision and a narrow lexical range. To improve, the student needs to expand their vocabulary and pay closer attention to word formation, parts of speech, and standard collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The writer uses a very limited range of sentence structures, relying heavily on long, unpunctuated run-on sentences joined by commas rather than proper subordinate clauses or periods. Attempts at complex structures are frequently faulty, leading to grammatical inaccuracies such as missing articles, incorrect pluralisation, and poor subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'these details are completely persoanl to employee and there is no benifits to employee'). Punctuation is particularly weak, with comma splices connecting independent clauses throughout the text. While the overall meaning remains decipherable, the frequency of basic grammatical errors causes noticeable difficulty for the reader and restricts the text to a lower grammatical band.

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