Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 7.0)

In this contemporary epoch, there are contrasting views, where a stratum of society believe that it is acceptable to share personal information, such as marital status or favourite pastime activities, while applying for a job, whereas others claim that sharing such pieces of information is irrelevant. This essay will elucidate both views in the subsequent paragraphs and will present my opinion in favour of the letter proposition.

To commence with, disclosing personal details can not only help employers understand the candidate better but also assist in finding the best fit for the position. In other words, if the interviewer is well aware of the interviewee's skills and personality during the interviwe, it becomes easier to select someone who can stay with the company for a longer time and handless stress effectively. To exemplify, trainers and teachers are hired based on their ability to interact with students, communicate effectively and teach for extended hours. Hence, the above mentioned example vividly illustrates why it can be beneficals to disclose information.

On the filp side, many people argue that sharing personal information can lead to discrimination among applicants. To expound, the more personal details are revealed, the higher chances of bias and favouritism, which may result in the selection of an unsuitable candidate while a deserving one misses the opportunity. To illustrate, female employees often face delays in promotions if they are married and have young children. In addition, they may not receive the same opportunities as male applicants with similar work experience and qualification. Thus, the abovementioned reasons clearly substantiate that it is irrelevant to enquire about such deatils during the applicantion process as it can lead to unfair preferences.

To recapitulate, this essay discussed that although sharing personal information may help employers in selecting suitable candidates, it can also result in discrimination. In my view, such questions should be avoided as they can deprive deserving applicants of opportunities; therefore, evaluating core skills and knowledge should be the primary focus of recruiters.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

Your response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both sides of the issue—whether personal information like marital status and hobbies should be disclosed during job applications—and clearly stating your own opinion in favour of the view that such information is irrelevant. You present a clear position throughout the essay. Your ideas are well-extended and supported with relevant examples, such as the discussion on how marital status can unfairly affect female employees' promotions and the example of teachers being hired based on professional skills. However, there is a slight tendency to over-generalise in parts of your body paragraphs, which places your response firmly at this solid level. To move further, you would need to ensure that every argument is balanced with even deeper, more nuanced real-world analysis without leaning on broad generalisations.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

You demonstrate a clear logical organisation and progression throughout the essay. Each paragraph has a distinct focus: an introduction outlining both views and your thesis, a first body paragraph discussing the benefits of sharing information, a second body paragraph exploring the counterargument about discrimination, and a concluding summary. You use cohesive devices flexibly to guide the reader through your arguments, such as 'To commence with', 'On the flip side', 'To expound', and 'To recapitulate'. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, with each main idea housed in its own well-structured paragraph. To achieve an even higher score, you could refine your referencing and transitional phrases so that cohesion feels entirely seamless and natural rather than relying on standard formulaic transition markers.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You display a sufficient range of vocabulary that allows for some flexibility and precision, successfully using less common items with some awareness of style and collocation, such as 'contemporary epoch', 'stratum of society', 'favouritism', and 'substantiate'. However, there are some occasional lexical errors and typos that prevent a higher score, such as 'favourite pastime activities' (slightly redundant), 'beneficals' (a spelling error for beneficial), 'filp side' (a typo for flip), and 'applicantion' (a typo for application). Additionally, your reference to 'in favour of the letter proposition' contains a typo ('letter' instead of 'latter'). These minor vocabulary and spelling slips show that while your lexical range is adequate and adventurous, control over precise word forms and spelling needs tighter consistency.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 7.0

You demonstrate good control of grammar and punctuation, employing a variety of complex structures with frequent error-free sentences throughout the text. Examples include conditional structures ('if the interviewer is well aware...') and relative clauses ('someone who can stay with the company...'). Your punctuation and sentence boundary control are generally strong. However, a few grammatical errors persist, such as subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'a stratum of society believe' should be 'believes', and 'handless stress' instead of 'handles stress'). These minor lapses prevent the majority of your sentences from being entirely error-free. To reach the highest band, you must eliminate these occasional slips in agreement and verb forms while maintaining your wide array of complex sentence patterns.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.