Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people believe that it is useful for the employers to ask about the personal information while applying for jobs while others think that it isn't relevant to do so. I believe that it might help the employers to know more about their employee while it might not be fair for the ones who hasn't been hired.

It is sometimes important for the employers to know about their employee personally to be able to treat them accordingly. For example,in journalism, if a person is more comfortable in public speaking then those can be assigned for field trips and onsite interviews while the others can be assigned to make reports and editimg sections.

On the other hand, it isn't assured that all the people who attended an interview will be hired by the company, so, disclosing the personal information can be risky and sometimes lead to the misuse of the information.

I believe that even if the employer asks about the personal information, the interviewee, it should be the choice of the person to disclose their information. the employer souldn't be judging the people on the basis of the personal information they provide. The questions should be more focussed on the job title and the responsibilities.

As a conclusion, disclosing the personal information might provide the employer with some of the useful insights about the person while it might sometime result in the illegal activities and might leave the sufferer depressed and stressed so, nobody should be forced to answer the questions that might sound irrevelent to the job duties.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing both views on employers asking for personal information and providing a clear personal opinion. However, the development of ideas is uneven. For instance, the argument about tailoring job roles based on hobbies, such as assigning field trips to people comfortable with public speaking, is relevant but somewhat brief. Similarly, the discussion on the risks of disclosing personal details to companies you are not hired by is introduced but lacks extension. The position is maintained throughout, but some arguments remain partially under-developed, placing this aspect firmly in the mid-range of task achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear logical progression, successfully bridging into the half-band territory above the baseline. Information and ideas are divided into appropriate paragraphs, starting with an introduction, moving to body paragraphs covering both perspectives and the author's view, and finishing with a conclusion. Cohesive devices are generally used to guide the reader, with phrases like 'On the other hand' and 'As a conclusion'. However, referencing and cohesion are occasionally mechanical or slightly repetitive, such as the frequent reliance on 'while' to contrast ideas, meaning it does not yet display the flexible and seamless cohesion required for a higher band.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate to communicate the central ideas of the prompt, attempting less common items such as 'disclosing' and 'insights'. However, there are noticeable lexical resource limitations and word-choice inaccuracies that prevent a higher score, such as 'editimg sections', 'the interviewee, it should be the choice', and the misspelling of 'irrevelent'. The writer demonstrates a sufficient everyday vocabulary range to discuss job applications, but instances of awkward collocations and minor slips mean control over style and precision remains at a modest level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The text displays a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at subordination with structures like 'even if the employer asks about...'. However, there are some noticeable errors in grammar and punctuation throughout the text. Examples include article misuse ('the employer souldn't be judging the people'), awkward phrasing in complex structures ('the ones who hasn't been hired'), and punctuation slips like missing spaces after commas ('For example,in journalism'). These grammatical errors and occasional punctuation lapses occur across the text, though they rarely impede overall communication.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.