Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is undeniable that many jobs ask for personal information such as candidate's hobby and interest. Some people believe that these types of infomation are irrelevant, while other people argue that these information are useful. In this essay, I will discuss both views and will give my opinion in the end.

The reason why employers take personal information while selecting candidates because these are useful to their companies. In other words, hobby and interest reflect person's true identity. For example, if an individual is good captain that means he/she has a great leadership and communication skill. Moreover, if a person is single then company do not have to worry about schedule and can assign him/her a varying schedule. Hence, sometimes company focuses on applicant's hobby or his/her martial status because it will help them to choose a candidate aligning with their requirements.

On the other side, some people think that the need of personal information while applying jobs is useless or irrelvant. The reason is that it can reduce the chances of getting hire. For example, if a person is married then company might give chance to another candidate who is single to fulfill their needs. Moreover, some company may do gender discrimination because if a women is married then company would have to give her maternity leave. Therefore, company would choose a man over married woman.

Taking everything into consideration, although personal information are useful to companies in their hiring process, I still believe that personal information should be kept private because it will affect candidate's selection.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You successfully address all parts of the task by discussing both views—that personal information is useful for employers and that it is irrelevant or potentially discriminatory—while also presenting a clear overall position. The response demonstrates the characteristics of the lower band by covering all requirements, but it also reaches into the higher band through the clear development of relevant ideas, such as the discussion around scheduling flexibility and gender discrimination regarding maternity leave. However, some ideas remain slightly under-developed or rely on broad generalisations, such as the claim that a good captain automatically possesses great leadership and communication skills without further explanation. To fully reach the next level, you should extend your supporting arguments with more specific explanations and nuanced examples rather than relying on brief assertions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

Your essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a logical progression of ideas from the introduction, through the two body paragraphs discussing opposing views, to a clear conclusion. You make use of cohesive devices to guide the reader, such as 'The reason why', 'Moreover', and 'On the other side'. The paragraphing is used appropriately, with each main idea separated into its own paragraph. While the flow is generally clear, some of the referencing and mechanical transitions feel a bit formulaic and slightly repetitive. To move towards higher bands, you could employ a wider and more flexible variety of cohesive devices to link your sentences and paragraphs more smoothly, ensuring that relationships between ideas are developed with greater subtlety rather than relying on standard structural connectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using functional terms like 'requirements', 'discrimination', and 'candidate's selection'. However, there are noticeable lexical inaccuracies and spelling errors that prevent the response from achieving a higher score. For instance, you wrote 'infomation' instead of 'information', 'martial status' instead of 'marital status', 'irrelvant' instead of 'irrelevant', and used 'hire' instead of the noun 'hiring' or passive form 'hired'. Furthermore, some collocations are awkward, such as 'take personal information' instead of 'request personal information'. To improve your lexical score, you need to focus on correct word forms, accurate spelling, and more natural phrasing, as well as attempting less common lexical items with greater precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, incorporating conditional clauses ('if an individual is good captain') and relative clauses. There are, however, frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that place this criterion at this level. You missed necessary articles ('is good captain', 'if a women is married'), struggled with pluralisation and subject-verb agreement ('these types of infomation are', 'some company may do'), and omitted words in verb patterns ('if a person is single then company do not have to worry'). Additionally, noun-adjective confusions affect clarity in places. To achieve a higher score, you need to demonstrate greater control over your complex sentence forms, ensure consistent agreement and article usage, and eliminate recurrent grammatical slips.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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