Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Most of the time when individuals are applying for a job, their bosses ask them personal questions. For instance, inquiring about their personal life, their relationship, what they do in their free time and whatnot. Different people have different beliefs about collecting this information.

On the first hand, some persons believe that obtaining knowledge about the personal lives of the people is useful due to it's significance to know the person better. Moreover, It can also help employers to know about the interests of the recuitees and their skills wether they are qualified enough for the job or not. Interrogating about the skills and hobbies of the people are important to know a person's knowledge, mind and worth. Hobbies and interests can say a lot about a person's nature.

On the other hand, others disagree with it completely and think that personal information should not be asked when applying for a job. It is considered an invasion of the privacy and is irrelevant. Furthermore, this group of people believe that their personal life is not for the public to know and ought to be kept hidden. Job requirements should include asking about the persons education and not their pastimes.

From my point of view, I stronger agree with those individuals who disagree with providing personal information during the job interview or submitting the application. I believe that asking about a person's private life is unnecessary and useless for the job. However, inquiring information about an individual's qualifications, skills and experience is essential and useful for the job. From my perspective these are the only things which can help with knowing about the person's qualities which are needed for the position.

All is all, some people find the collection of personal information useful and relevant while others disagree with it. We live in a free world and everyone has the right to freedom of expression.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views on whether personal information should be asked during job applications and clearly states a personal position. For instance, the second paragraph outlines the perspective that hobbies and interests help employers understand a candidate's nature, while the third paragraph presents the opposing view regarding privacy. However, some ideas are under-developed rather than fully extended. The arguments tend to rely on repetition rather than deep elaboration, such as stating that hobbies show a person's worth without explaining specific workplace contexts. To reach a higher level, the ideas would need more thorough support with specific, well-reasoned examples or broader exploration of why employers or applicants hold these views.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear organisational structure, utilizing standard four-paragraph formatting alongside an introduction and conclusion. The writer employs basic cohesive devices to connect ideas, such as 'On the first hand', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand'. However, referencing and cohesion are sometimes faulty or mechanical. For example, the transitional phrase 'On the first hand' is non-standard and awkward, and paragraph progression can feel slightly disjointed due to repetitive phrasing. To improve, the writer should use a wider variety of more natural cohesive links and ensure that sentences flow smoothly into one another without relying on predictable connectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, providing sufficient resources to discuss the prompt. The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as 'interrogating', 'invasion of the privacy', and 'qualifications'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors in word choice, collocation, and word form, including 'recuitees' instead of 'recruits', 'wether' instead of 'whether', and the unnatural phrase 'I stronger agree' instead of 'strongly agree'. These errors do not seriously impede communication, but they reflect a limitation in precise lexical control. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to expand their range of less common lexical items and refine word forms and collocations to ensure greater accuracy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, attempting various structures throughout the essay. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, but these errors rarely impede communication. Examples of grammatical issues include prepositional and structural slips such as 'due to it's significance' where 'its' requires no apostrophe, and minor agreement errors like 'inquiring information' or 'All is all' instead of 'All in all'. The control over complex sentence patterns is somewhat inconsistent, leading to awkward phrasing. To move higher, the writer must demonstrate better control over complex syntactic structures and eliminate recurring basic grammatical slips.

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