Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

People applying for jobs mostly have to give personal information. Such as, their marital status, hobbies, their likes and dislikes. Some employers argue that this information is relevant and of great importance when hiring someone, because it gives useful insights about the job seeker's personality. On the other hand, many disagree because personal information is irrelevant for the job position. They think that experience and skill of the person matters the most. Although I will discuss both views below but I agree with the latter opinion.

It has become an ongoing trend to ask for private information before you hire someone. Employers suggest that this helps them in finding like minded people. People who think alike, have similar interests are better at working together. The work environment is calm, stress free and enjoyable. Everyone is friendly towards each other. There are more out of office activities they can do together, which in turn increases their productivity at work.

To back this view, I saw a survey that asked 50 people how important it is to work with people who have similar hobbies and interests. Surprisingly, 40 out of 10 shared that it is extremely important for them to be around like minded people to work better.

On the other side of the spectrum, there are a lot of people who don't get hired at their dream job. Not because they didn't qualify for it, but because the hiring team did not find their personality apropriate for the position. I think it is extremely unfair to not hire someone only because they like different things and activities than the rest of the team.

One of my friend who is very introverted and does not like going out very often, got rejected by a company only because she said that she prefers to go home directly from work. But the company used to have a culture of going out for drinks every wednesday.

In conclusion, I think that personal information should not be the requirement for hiring someone. it is unfair.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing both views regarding personal information in job applications and clearly stating a personal position in the introduction and conclusion. However, some ideas are under-developed. For instance, the explanation of why employers value this information is somewhat generalised, and the transition '40 out of 10 shared that it is extremely important' contains a mathematical inconsistency that detracts from the credibility of the supporting example. The position is evident throughout, but the arguments lack the extension and depth required to reach a higher level. To improve, ensure that all supporting examples logically align and that each main point is thoroughly explained with relevant consequences rather than relying on brief anecdotes.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The text presents a coherent overall arrangement with a clear attempt to structure the essay into an introduction, body paragraphs addressing each viewpoint, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is utilised to separate distinct ideas, such as the arguments for and against personal information. Nonetheless, cohesion is sometimes faulty or mechanical. The opening sentence of the final body paragraph, 'On the other side of the spectrum, there are a lot of people who don't get hired at their dream job', functions awkwardly as a transition, and referencing is not always completely clear. Furthermore, sentence-to-sentence linking relies heavily on basic devices. To achieve a higher band, the writer needs to employ a wider range of cohesive devices more naturally and ensure smoother logical transitions between paragraphs.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, successfully conveying the writer's meaning throughout the essay. The student attempts less common vocabulary, such as 'relevant', 'insights', and 'appropriate', demonstrating a sufficient range for basic flexibility. However, there are notable spelling and word-choice errors that prevent a higher score, such as 'apropriate' instead of 'appropriate' and awkward phrasing like 'Although I will discuss both views below but I agree', which mixes contrasting conjunctions. Additionally, word forms are occasionally imprecise. To improve, the writer should focus on mastering correct spelling, expanding the use of precise collocations, and refining lexical control when attempting more sophisticated terminology.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing structures like conditional clauses and relative clauses with varying success. There are some errors in grammar and punctuation, but they rarely impede communication. Examples include punctuation issues in the opening sentences ('Such as, their marital status...') where a fragment is incorrectly punctuated, and subject-verb agreement slips such as 'One of my friend who is very introverted... got rejected'. The writer shows control over basic sentence patterns, but attempts at complex structures occasionally introduce minor errors. To reach the next level, the student should aim for a higher proportion of error-free complex sentences and exercise greater care with punctuation and grammatical concord.

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