Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays many employers required people personal information while applying for jobs, like their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some individulas say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.While I belive that this is important for employers to consider they request and I am expaining it in following paragraph.

To begain with why this is essential for hiring authorities to known basic information about the job applicants because it help to find out they are actully the perfect person for any specific position. For instance, some jobs are only for male candidate. such as cruse worker they have to stay away for house almost a year.

On the other hand, some people belive that its not useful and irrelevent as they think that it is important to have good skills for job not the hobbies and interest. Although, In my opinion individual requied to mentioned there hobbies and intrest as well along with proffessional skills.

To sum up, some people belive its usefull to mentioned hobbies , married status and interst in job application while other oppose this view. In my view it is essential to include basic information of person in application.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You give a clear overall opinion that personal information is useful, and you attempt to present both views. However, the opposing view is only briefly stated: you say employers should focus on skills rather than hobbies, but do not explain this concern or support it with an example. Your supporting example about cruise workers is also unclear and does not establish why marital status or hobbies are relevant. The response is substantially under the required length: it contains 178 words, which is 72 words short of the 250-word minimum; 23 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. This leaves the discussion and supporting reasons under-developed. Explain each view more fully and make your position consistent and specific.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, paragraphs beginning “To begin with” and “On the other hand,” and a concluding summary. These markers help readers identify the two sides. However, progression within paragraphs is limited, and some links are awkward or unclear. For example, “While I believe … they request” does not clearly connect your opinion to the point that follows, while “Although” introduces a contrast without completing the relationship smoothly. The conclusion repeats the introduction rather than drawing together developed reasons. Use each body paragraph to explain one view, then add a relevant example and a clear link back to your position. Check punctuation at paragraph boundaries, such as the missing space after “disagree.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “applying for jobs,” “job applicants,” “professional skills,” and “married status,” so the main topic is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make the writing less clear or natural, such as “individulas,” “cruse worker,” “irrelevent,” and “intrest.” Some phrases are also imprecise: “perfect person for any specific position” is too absolute, and “basic information of person” is not idiomatic. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and vary the language used to discuss relevance, qualifications, and privacy. Proofreading spelling carefully would make your ideas easier to follow.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including “Although, in my opinion…” and a sentence beginning “While I believe…”. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction frequently affect clarity. For example, “many employers required” uses an unsuitable tense, “it help to find out they are” has agreement and clause-structure problems, and “some jobs are only for male candidate” has article and plural errors. The opening sentence beginning “While” is also not completed clearly. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses. Review articles and plural nouns, and use full stops to separate complete ideas.

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