Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

People have differing views on whether employers should ask job applicants personal information such as interests and hobbies, also their maritial status. While others oppose this statement, and have valid arguments. This essay will discuss both points and I will give my opinion in upcoming paragraphs.

On the one hand, some people believe sharing private information during job application process such as relationship status, personal hobbies and interests is considerable, and employers can be more specific about the job seeker because they can understand applicant's cmpatibility and reliablity. For instance, hiring representitives can understand applicant's preferences and availability, so they can better understand employees restriction regarding work location, because for a family person it can be challenging to accept the job transfer.

On the other hand, others think that personal information should remain disclosed. The major reason is privacy, because people often feel insecured while sharing about family and personal life. Also, due to increasing numbers of scams contribute to the idea of avoid sharing personal data, as many companies often share job seekers resumes to another and the sensitive data may loose or can get into wrong hands.

In my opinion, although the prospective of fear of loosing personal information related to maritial status and personal interests is concerning, it is crucial for hiring department to understand job seeker's demands, capabilities and preferences.

To conclude, although many individuals supports the idea of sharing personal details with the employers due to some significant factors such as better understanding of job applicant's working habits and also can build a strong bond in between that can enhance work comptibility, the risk of loosing personal information can be a major drawback. However, if companies assure people that their information would kept secured, this issue can be accountable.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

The response addresses both perspectives and gives a clear personal view: you explain that employers may use personal details to assess availability and compatibility, while applicants may worry about privacy and data security. The example of a family applicant finding a transfer difficult helps make the first view relevant. However, some points are less fully developed than others. The benefits of knowing hobbies and interests are not explained separately, and the claim that this information can build a strong bond is introduced only in the conclusion. Your opinion also focuses mainly on employers’ needs, so it would be stronger if you clarified which information is genuinely relevant and why.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The essay has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, a stated opinion, and a conclusion. This makes the discussion easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” help distinguish the arguments. The progression is generally logical, though some linking is mechanical and a few connections are unclear. For example, the opening sentence of the first body paragraph combines several ideas, while “Also, due to increasing numbers of scams contribute to the idea” does not connect its clauses smoothly. The conclusion repeats earlier points rather than synthesising them. More precise referencing and varied transitions would make cohesion more natural.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic-related vocabulary, including “relationship status,” “compatibility,” “availability,” “privacy,” and “sensitive data.” These choices communicate the main ideas, but inaccurate spelling, word forms, and collocations are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “maritial,” “cmpatibility,” “reliablity,” “representitives,” and “loosing.” Some phrases are also imprecise: “personal information … is considerable” does not clearly express that it may be useful, and “personal information should remain disclosed” appears to mean that it should remain private. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and proofread spelling; this will make your vocabulary more precise without requiring unnecessarily complex words.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a concession in “although the prospective … is concerning” and a reason clause beginning “because.” The overall meaning is usually understandable, but some sentence structures and grammatical relationships are faulty. For example, “While others oppose this statement, and have valid arguments” is an incomplete sentence, and “due to increasing numbers of scams contribute” incorrectly combines a prepositional phrase with a finite verb. In the conclusion, “if companies assure people that their information would kept secured” is missing grammatical elements. Check that each sentence has a complete clause, and review agreement, articles, and verb forms. Breaking up overloaded sentences would also improve control.

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