Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

There is an ongoing debate regarding whether individuals mention full detail for job or just important things are needed.This essay will dicuss both perspective before explaining why i believe personal information not essential for applying job because of their ability and dedication for work is more important to see.

Examining the former opinion, the primary argument supporter put forward is hobbies and interest not only describe their personality, but they can also show their qualities through it. For example, people mention their hobby is playing foorball regularly then employer can get idea about their teamwork skills. Moreover volunteering can make people responsible and reading make their sitting strong. Moreover individuals interest can help the employer to know whether candidate fit for this role or not into the company's environment. Therefore , these things can help to decide the employer for letting them hire for job or not.

On the contrary, those in the favour of latter opinion have their own arguements. To begin with , they claim that employer should not ask about their personal detail like marital status can not decide their dedication related to work. Such type of details are not indicate whether candidate able to work for that position or not. This can also lead a problem of discrimination. For instance, employer think that married people have more responsiblities and they will ignore work so they prefer to give a chance to single person. Thus, employer should take decision on the basis of their experience and qualification.

In conclusion, although some are the information can help the recruiter to understand their skills , I think personal information remain keep private and take decision according to their quality and ability .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both views and state a clear opinion: personal information is not essential because ability and dedication matter more. The first body paragraph explains how hobbies might reveal teamwork or help assess a candidate’s fit, while the second gives a relevant concern about marital status leading to discrimination. These points meet the task, but they are not equally developed: the link between reading and “make their sitting strong” is unclear, and the relevance of interests to a particular role could be explained with a more specific example. Your conclusion restates your position, though its final wording is difficult to interpret. To strengthen the response, explain each main point more fully and make the conclusion’s judgement precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion. The contrast between the views is easy to follow, and signposts such as “Examining the former opinion” and “On the contrary” help guide the reader. This gives the essay a coherent progression. However, some linking is mechanical or repetitive: “Moreover” appears twice in quick succession, and “Therefore” and “Thus” sometimes introduce conclusions without clearly connecting the preceding idea. A few references are also unclear, such as “through it” and “these things.” Use a wider range of natural transitions and make pronouns refer unmistakably to specific ideas.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “teamwork skills,” “marital status,” “discrimination,” “experience,” and “qualification,” which helps communicate the main arguments. There are also attempts at less common expressions, such as “ongoing debate” and “dedication.” However, inaccurate word choice, collocation, and spelling are noticeable and sometimes make meaning unclear. Examples include “full detail,” “their sitting strong,” “responsiblities,” and “personal information remain keep private.” Some phrases also sound unnatural, such as “decide the employer for letting them hire.” Aim for precise, conventional combinations and check spelling and word forms; this would make your ideas easier to understand and give your vocabulary more flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional example beginning “if people mention their hobby” and a contrast introduced by “although.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but grammatical errors occur across the response and sometimes make sentences difficult to follow. For example, “individuals interest can help the employer to know whether candidate fit” has problems with possessive form, articles, and subject–verb agreement; “marital status can not decide their dedication” also has an unclear grammatical relationship between the subject and verb. The conclusion, “personal information remain keep private,” combines incompatible verb forms. Practise building accurate clauses first, then add subordinate clauses, and check agreement, articles, and verb patterns.

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