Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Undoubtedly, these days job applications are too long, and they are time-consuming as well. The reason is that employers seek a lot of information about the candidates, such as their hobbies, interests, and marital status. Moreover, some people believe that it is useful, while others hold an opposite viewpoint. I disagree with the concept of asking for personal information; this essay will explain both ideologies along with my viewpoint.

One school of thought opines that it is beneficial for the owner to know some personal information. For example, while forming a working team and assigning tasks to the team members, so if all the team members share common interest they will support their fellow beings, but the

Another school of thought believes that the employer will be biased if they know someone's hobbies and interests. While interviewing, if the interviewer likes playing basketball, then the selection process can be in favour of someone who enjoys playing basketball. In this way, there is a possibility that the wrong selection could be made just because of bias.

In my opinion, it is irrelevant to ask a lot of personal information questions. As per human psychology,

In conclusion, it is sometimes useful if people are working in teams because they share mutual hobbies and they would work better with them. On the other hand, knowing excessive information may result in selection of wrong candidate because of biased decision.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You introduce the topic, present both views, and state a clear position: “I disagree with the concept of asking for personal information.” The discussion of possible bias is relevant and supported with a basketball example. However, the first view is left unfinished (“but the”), and your own opinion is not explained because the sentence beginning “As per human psychology” has no completion. The conclusion repeats the two sides rather than resolving them with a developed reason for your position. The response also falls 15 words short of the required minimum. To strengthen the response, complete each argument, explain why personal details should or should not affect hiring, and add a relevant example or consequence.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “One school of thought” and “Another school of thought” helps readers identify the contrasting positions. However, progression is interrupted by the unfinished first-view paragraph and the incomplete sentence in your opinion paragraph. As a result, the essay moves from the bias argument directly to a conclusion without developing your own reasoning. The conclusion also repeats earlier points rather than bringing the discussion to a clear resolution. Build a complete paragraph for each view and your opinion, and use linking phrases to show how each reason supports your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic-related vocabulary, including “marital status,” “selection process,” “biased,” and “mutual hobbies.” These choices make the subject clear, and phrases such as “opposite viewpoint” show an attempt to vary expression. Some wording is unnatural or imprecise, however: “the owner” is not the usual term for an employer, “fellow beings” sounds unsuitable in this context, and “wrong selection” is less natural than a phrase such as “unsuitable hiring decision.” “Both ideologies” is also an awkward description of the two opinions. Aim for precise, natural collocations used in recruitment discussions, and avoid formal-sounding expressions when a simpler phrase is more accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if the interviewer likes playing basketball” and a reason clause introduced by “because.” Many sentences communicate their main meaning, but control is uneven. The first-view sentence contains a faulty construction: “while forming a working team … so if all the team members share common interest they will support their fellow beings, but the” combines clauses without a complete grammatical structure. “As per human psychology,” is also an incomplete sentence, and “common interest” needs a plural or determiner in this context. Work on completing clauses, avoiding duplicated connectors such as “while … so,” and checking articles and plurals. These changes will make your complex sentences clearer and more accurate.

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