Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

sharing personal information in job resume have some point of relevency. depending on the type of job. some people argue that this information may be helpful but others denied.

on the one hand, sharing personal information with employer is relevant because they have to know about your personality.for example - if someone have hobbies like playing soccer and he is writing it in his resume for sports teacher in school. its very helful to grab that position. sharing contacts and information is also important because in case of emergency authorities have to contact family.

on the other hand, some people believes that it is irrelevant because doing a job is professional thing and they do not want to take there personal life in their. they manage both parts of life seperatly. but, sometimes find difficulty in finding jobs because they are introverts.to cite an example - i want to apply for teacher, but i did not share any information such as interests, hobbies and education. so,there is very low chace to get a job.

as per my opinion, i am agree with this statement because someone have to pay money that's why they have all the rights to know about person.informative resume attracts more employers. many ways of opportunities open with it.

in conclusion, it is important to share personal information because it helps in emergency,getting job and more opportunities. however, some people do not want to mix there personal life with proffesional.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both views and state your opinion, so the response is relevant to the task. The examples about a sports teacher and contacting family in an emergency support the view that some personal details can be useful. However, the opposing view is less clearly explained: the point about keeping professional and personal life separate is relevant, but the claim that introverts have difficulty finding jobs is not developed or clearly connected to the issue. Your own position—that employers have a right to know—appears, but the reason that they pay employees does not fully explain why marital status or hobbies should be requested. The response is also 7 words below the required minimum. Develop both sides more fully and explain your opinion with a specific, balanced reason.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two paragraphs presenting opposing views, your opinion, and a conclusion. The signposts “on the one hand,” “on the other hand,” and “in conclusion” help readers follow the basic organisation. However, progression within paragraphs is uneven. For example, the second body paragraph moves from privacy to introversion and then to your own job application, without clearly showing how these points support the opposing view. Some links are also mechanical or unclear, such as “but, sometimes find difficulty.” Use topic sentences that state each paragraph’s main point, then connect each example explicitly to it. This would make the argument flow more logically and reduce abrupt shifts.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “personal information,” “emergency,” “professional,” and “opportunities.” There are also attempts at relevant phrases such as “grab that position.” However, the range is limited and several word choices, collocations, and spelling errors make the writing less clear or natural: “point of relevency,” “denied,” “there personal life,” and “low chace” are examples. Some expressions are also imprecise, such as “informative resume attracts more employers,” which does not explain what information is useful. Build a more accurate set of phrases for discussing privacy, job suitability, and recruitment, and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would help express the distinction between relevant qualifications and private details.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a conditional example beginning “if someone have hobbies” and a contrast introduced by “because.” However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. Examples include “sharing personal information in job resume have,” “some people believes,” and “i am agree,” where agreement or verb forms are incorrect. Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention: “personality.for example” runs ideas together, while several sentences begin with lowercase letters. Practise subject–verb agreement, articles, and complete sentence construction, then proofread for punctuation. Aim to make each example a clear, grammatically complete sentence before adding more complex structures.

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