Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

People have different views about whether, hobbies, interests and other personal information should be including when you applied for jobs because it can be useful, others disagree with this perspective. Although there are valid arguments on both sides, I believe that it not all the information are useful for the companies such as single or married.

Employers say that the personal information should be included because it can helps them to know the real potential of the employees. When applicants apply any job with the information of their hobbies and interest, then the authorities can know who would be more beneficial for the company. This approach can helps the organization to find the best worker who is suitable for any particular job.

Others argue that personal information is not relevant and useful because companies can train individuals according to their preference. When applicant go for their work, there are numerous trainers available in the companies who train all people according to the work priorities. This shows that they may not need any person information for any job.

In my opinion, some information should be required. This means , many people know various languages and they know how to communicate with others. When they write this information in their resume, then companies can find the suitable position for them in the organization. However the information regarding statues such as married or single can be irrelevant because it can not enhance any kind of qualities in the person and not necessary for the companies.

In conclusion, although some information is useful such as hobbies which shows the real potential of the individuals, it is irrelevant because work authorities train their workers according to their work and treat all applicant equal. I think that some information can be useful which shows the interests of the individuals but all the personal information should be irrelevant.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You discuss both views and give a personal position: you explain why employers might value hobbies and interests, then argue that marital status is irrelevant and that language skills can help with placement. These points are relevant, but the response only partly develops the task. The first view is supported mainly by the general claim that hobbies reveal an applicant’s “real potential,” without a specific example or explanation of how this helps in a job. The opposing view focuses on training rather than directly explaining why personal details may be inappropriate or unhelpful. Your position also shifts: you say some information is useful, but the conclusion calls personal information irrelevant before qualifying this. Make your stance consistent and develop each view with clearer reasons or examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, your opinion, and a conclusion. This makes the main line of discussion easy to follow. You also use signposting such as “Others argue,” “In my opinion,” and “In conclusion.” However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “This shows that they may not need any person information” does not clearly follow from the point about training, and the conclusion repeats earlier claims rather than bringing them together. The contrast between your view and the final statement is also difficult to track. Use referencing more precisely and make each paragraph’s final sentence show how its point answers the question.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “applicants,” “suitable position,” “organization,” and “married or single.” However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning less precise. Examples include “real potential” for what hobbies reveal, “work priorities” for the duties or requirements of a role, and “treat all applicant equal.” “Person information” is also an unnatural phrase; “personal information” is the appropriate form. Aim to use precise employment-related expressions and check whether words naturally combine. Replacing repeated general terms such as “useful” and “information” with context-specific wording would make the argument clearer and more flexible.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “because” and “although,” but control is inconsistent. Errors occur in verb forms and agreement: “it can helps” should be “it can help,” and “When applicant go” needs a plural subject or an article and matching verb. There are also problems with articles and sentence construction, as in “when you applied for jobs,” where the tense and point of view do not fit the general statement. Punctuation is sometimes awkward, including the space before the comma in “This means ,” and the run-on structure in the opening sentence. Practise building accurate sentences with modal verbs, plural subjects, and clear clause boundaries before adding more complex structures.

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