Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

These days , employers ask people to add their personal details such as hobbies and interests or they are married or single .It is argued by some people that this may be useful , whereas, others disagree with this .I will discuss both the viewpoints along with my opinion in the forthcoming paragraphs.

To begin with, sharing personal details may be useful because employers want to know any teamwork experience.To explain it, when a person mentions their hobbies or interests then it becomes easier for employer to check their interests or any teamwork experience.As a result , it could be beneficial for employer to know interests when recruiting.

On the other side ,some people are not agree with this because they are not comfortable to share personal details .Firstly, it is private matters and do not relate when recruiting .Moreover, the main one is discrimination .This means that when an employer comes to know the marital status then he can change the decision.For example , if a person is married and employer knows then there are less chances that he get the job .Therefore , employer always prefer to choose single people since they can easily focus on work.

In my opinion, sharing interests would be helpful to get a job as it helps to describe our personal experience such as teamwork or other skills .

To conclude, although, it is discomfort for some people to share personal information ,but it is helpful for employers to hire experienced people in the company .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and give your own opinion, so the response is relevant to the task. The point that hobbies can reveal teamwork experience is a suitable reason for employers to ask about interests, and the example of marital status leading to discrimination supports the opposing view. However, the discussion is uneven: the usefulness of hobbies is explained briefly, while the claim that employers prefer single applicants is presented as a generalisation rather than supported with a specific example or qualification. Your opinion focuses on sharing interests but does not clearly state whether marital-status questions should be avoided. Develop both sides more fully and make your final position explicit on each type of personal information.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, a paragraph for each view, your opinion, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “On the other side,” and “To conclude” help readers follow the discussion. However, some linking is mechanical, and the final paragraph repeats the idea that personal information can help employers without clearly resolving the contrast between hobbies and marital status. There are also places where connections between claims need to be clearer, such as moving from privacy concerns to discrimination. Use transitions that show the precise relationship between ideas, and make the conclusion synthesise both sides rather than simply restating one benefit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “personal details,” “teamwork experience,” “marital status,” “discrimination,” and “recruiting.” This is enough to communicate the main points, but the range is limited and some expressions are imprecise or unnatural. For example, “check their interests or any teamwork experience” does not clearly express how hobbies demonstrate skills, and “the main one is discrimination” is vague. Repetition of “personal details,” “employer,” and “helpful” also limits flexibility. Choose more precise collocations and vary key terms, for example by referring to “job applicants,” “relevant skills,” or “unfair hiring decisions.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional example beginning “when an employer comes to know the marital status” and a reason clause with “because.” The main ideas remain understandable, but errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries occur across the response. Examples include “some people are not agree,” “it is private matters,” and “there are less chances that he get the job.” Punctuation spacing is also inconsistent, and the opening sentence is awkwardly joined. Review subject–verb agreement and verb patterns, and proofread each sentence for complete structure and punctuation. More accurate control of these forms would make your arguments easier to read.

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