Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is often argued that employers are asking personal information such as hobbies, interests and marital status when they are hiring or interviewing the employee is relevant and helpful. I partially agree with the statement as sharing personal information with your employer has both pros and cons.

On the one hand, people think sharing personal information with employer has many merits. This is because it eases the conversation during an interview or meeting. Moreover, it helps the employer to know the person better . Most of the times these questions are asked to know the outer life of their employee and what they do after tiring days of work to regulate their stress and tiredness. For instance,when an employer is aware of the employee's marital stress, they can provide more flexibility and understand your working requirements better. For all these reasons, many people think this approach is helpful and relevant.

On the other hand, others argue that employer should stick to the questions related to job and job requirements rather than asking for personal infrormation.This is mainly because people do not like employers invading their privacy. For example, the hiring process could get unfair if the emplyer judges the employee on their personal information rather than asking professional questions. Some people are not comfortable to share their marital status. This can lead to discomfort and make the interview unprofessional.

I conclusion both views have valid arguements. However, I believe that sharing your hobbies, interests and marital status has both merits and demerits.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You discuss both perspectives: the benefits of learning about an applicant’s life and the concern that personal questions can invade privacy or make hiring unfair. Your example of an employer offering flexibility in response to marital stress is relevant, and you state that you partially agree. However, the position is not fully clear: the conclusion says both sides have merits and demerits without explaining which information you consider appropriate or why. Several ideas are also under-developed. For instance, the point that hobbies help employers “know the person better” would be stronger if linked to job-related qualities, such as teamwork or commitment. Clarify your view and extend each main reason with a specific explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “For instance” helps readers follow the discussion, and the ideas generally progress logically within each paragraph. This already gives the essay a coherent structure. To make the progression more consistently smooth, avoid relying on formulaic transitions and make links between claims explicit. For example, explain how hobbies reveal qualities relevant to a role before moving to the example about marital stress. The conclusion also repeats the general idea of pros and cons rather than drawing together the two arguments and resolving your position. Check punctuation spacing, such as after “For instance,” to support readability.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to discuss the topic, including “marital status,” “invading their privacy,” “hiring process,” and “professional questions.” These phrases communicate the main points, and some choices are appropriate to the subject. However, several expressions are imprecise or repetitive, which limits the clarity and flexibility of the vocabulary. For example, “outer life” is not a natural way to describe an employee’s life outside work, and “regulate their stress and tiredness” is an awkward collocation. “Merits” and “helpful and relevant” recur without adding much precision. There are also spelling errors, including “infrormation,” “emplyer,” and “arguements.” Use more precise workplace vocabulary and proofread spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “if an employer is aware … they can provide more flexibility” and a contrast introduced by “rather than.” Most sentences remain understandable, and errors rarely prevent the reader from following your meaning. Some grammatical problems persist, however. In the opening, the clause beginning “that employers are asking” does not fit smoothly with “is relevant and helpful”; revise the sentence so the subject and verb relationship is clear. Other examples include “with employer” and “employer should,” where articles are needed, and “I conclusion,” which should be “In conclusion.” Review article use, sentence construction, and punctuation, while continuing to practise varied complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.