Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In the company, interviewers are incresingly interested in individual's personal informations for selection of better candidate. Some people argue that everyone should mention their personal details, such as hobbies and interests into their resume and it is relatable and useful for hiring an employee. While other believe that this is not crucial to get some confidential details of an individuals. From my perpective, I agree with the advocates of the latter view. This essay will discuss both the perpective with valid reasosn and an appropriate examples in the ensuing paragraphs.

On the one hand, supporters of the former view state that employer can know worker's ability related to their requirement because some position required some special skills, which would be possible if person have some special interest or capability. For instance, people should have better leadership skills or they have keen interest in various sports. This can only know by individula's curriculum vittae. Consequently, if employer find someone who have these type of skills,company will definitely get tremendous growth. Furthermore, flexiblity in work should also be the significant concern for some company, and it depends on an officer's marital status because if they are single then it would not be an great issue to do a night shift. For example, many people cannot work in shifts due to their family reasons. As a result, employer may waste their time without knowing their background.

On the other hand, advocates of the latter view argue that it creates some negative impression. This is because someone who does not want to disclose their personal information, but if someone who insist them to disclose it, then it would create some false image in front of others. To illustrates this, some critical details does not ask by an interviewers in the big companies, such as TATA and Reliance. Moroever, hiring decisions should primarily be based on relevant qualifications, work experience and demonstrated abilities rather than personal characteristics.

In my view, employers should focus on information that directly relates to the job. Although discussing hobbies and interests can be appropriate when these reveal relevant skills or personal qualities, asking whether an applicant is married or single is generally unnecessary.

In conclusion, although it is necessary to collect some personal data for candidate’s suitability for a position, but marital status should not influence recruitment decisions. Therefore, employers should respect applicants’ privacy and prioritise their professional abilities and experience.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both views and make your own position clear: you support limiting employers’ requests, especially by arguing that marital status should not influence recruitment. The discussion of job-related skills and shift availability gives relevant reasons, while the final paragraphs distinguish useful information from intrusive personal details. This meets the task well, but the two sides are not developed equally. The first side relies on broad claims—for example, that a single applicant may find night shifts easier—and the example about large companies not asking for “critical details” is not clearly connected to the point. To strengthen the response, explain more precisely when hobbies reveal job-relevant abilities and why marital status is an unreliable basis for judging availability.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall progression: an introduction, separate paragraphs for each view, your own position, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In my view” makes the structure easy to follow, and the conclusion returns to your central argument. Some links within paragraphs are less smooth or precise. For instance, “This can only know by…” does not clearly connect the example to the claim, and “To illustrates this” introduces an example whose relevance is difficult to follow. The first body paragraph also moves from skills to marital status without a sufficiently clear transition. Use more precise referencing and explain the relationship between each example and its supporting point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “demonstrated abilities,” “marital status,” “recruitment decisions,” and “respect applicants’ privacy.” These phrases help express the main argument, and the meaning is generally recoverable. However, noticeable spelling, word-form, and collocation errors reduce precision, including “incresingly,” “personal informations,” “flexiblity,” “curriculum vittae,” and “false image.” Some expressions are also awkward, such as “get tremendous growth” and “waste their time without knowing their background.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations rather than more elaborate wording: for example, say “contribute to the company’s growth” and “assess an applicant’s suitability.” Careful proofreading of spelling and plural forms would make your vocabulary more effective.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because,” “although,” and “if,” and most of your meaning remains understandable. There are, however, some recurring errors in agreement, articles, and sentence construction. Examples include “employer can know,” “some position required,” and “if employer find someone”; these need appropriate plural or singular forms and matching verbs. The sentence beginning “This is because someone who does not want to disclose…” is structurally incomplete, while “although it is necessary to collect…, but…” combines two incompatible linking patterns. Review subject–verb agreement and practise building complete complex sentences, especially when joining a concession or condition to the main clause. More consistent control would make the argument clearer.

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