Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In modern era, most people think that it is very important to share personal life details like hobbies and interests and whether married or unmarried whenever apply for a job while some individuals believe that it is irrelevant for a job.However, I partly agree with the statement.These points I will discuss in the following paragraphs and my own opinion.

On the one hand, some employer think that personal details are very meaningful for a job.Based on these details they can understand applicant nature and helpful for an employer to hire person.For instance, if you want to work music industry then you need to know something about music.Without any interest in music no can do work in that field.Because this field requires creativity and cures.Moreover, without any interest and hobby no one can do work with dedication and passion.

On the other hand, some thinks that there no need any personal information for a job.Because everyone do work according to their own needs.Most employers hire workers based on their qualifications not on interests.They think person choose work according to their needs.

Well,I believe that it is important part of application which ask for hiring a person for a job. Because some jobs needs creativity, passion and dedication.In addition, personal questions like ask married or unmarried also vital because some jobs require time and status like models, tour guide so on.

In conclusion, qualification is more important for applying a job but other some factors we can not neglect while applying for a job.Also some jobs are required passion, dedication and creativity.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and give a personal position, stating that you “partly agree” and later explaining that qualifications matter but personal factors can also be relevant. The music-industry example helps illustrate why interests might matter in some roles. However, the discussion is only partly developed: the case for excluding personal information is brief, and the claim that marital status is “vital” for roles such as tour guide or model is asserted without explaining why it is job-related. Your position also shifts somewhat between “partly agree” and saying personal questions are an “important part” of applications. Make your view consistent and support each side with clearer, relevant reasoning.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, your opinion, and a conclusion. Phrases such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the broad organisation. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and several links feel mechanical or incomplete. For example, “Because everyone do work according to their own needs” does not clearly explain why personal information is irrelevant, while “These points I will discuss” adds little to the argument. Some ideas are repeated in the opinion and conclusion. Develop each paragraph around one clear point, explain the connection between examples and claims, and use referencing and transitions more naturally.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “qualifications,” “creativity,” “dedication,” and “passion,” and the reader can generally understand the intended ideas. However, the range is limited and several phrases are repeated, particularly “personal details,” “interest,” and “job.” Some word combinations are inaccurate or unclear, such as “applicant nature,” “cures” (apparently intended to describe a quality needed in the field), and “time and status.” These choices sometimes make the meaning difficult to interpret. Aim for more precise employment-related vocabulary and check collocations; for example, explain what a role requires rather than relying on broad claims about personal qualities.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including conditional reasoning such as “if you want to work music industry then you need to know something about music.” However, many sentences contain errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, or verb forms, which can make the argument harder to follow. Examples include “some employer think,” “some thinks,” “everyone do work,” and “no can do work.” The opening sentence also lacks a clear grammatical structure around “whenever apply for a job,” and punctuation is inconsistent, with missing spaces after full stops. Practise building accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check agreement, articles, and punctuation.

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