Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Employers during interviews ask for personal information such as hobbies and interest or even if married or single. It can be said that these information may be relevant and useful and also it can not be important. Therefore, this essay will discuss about agreements and disagreements to this topic.

Firstly, employers can ask for personal information so that the company can evaluate their requirements to certain roles for example, if a women is newly married then during interviews, the candiate reveals that she is recently got married, normally women wants to start a family. So it becomes important for the company to view the criteria and importance of the job.

Secondly, to manage employment relationships where the employer wants to build trust and to see if the candidate is suitable to be able to bond with the fellow employees. Employer would want to maintain peace in the office and find a suitable person to be able to work in stress environment.

Moving on, employers should not be entitled to ask personal questions because it may be uncomfortable for the candidate to respond and the person may seem to leave the room. For example, asking about marital status or having kids may seem really personal and misunderstood by the candidate and bring bad picture to the employer.

Also, it can be said that asking personal information sometimes can traumatic as the candidate may have experienced difficult situations personally and if asked about personal information then it would bring negative impacts on the candiate. For example, the employer asks about any hobbies or interests and the candiate was traumatized by one of her biggest loss in football, so employer asking about hobbies would refresh memories and maybe the candidate breaks down.

To conclude, giving personal information to employers can be relevant and useful or not relevant and not important. The main reason for it being useful is it would help employers choose the best fit for the role and to be able to manage employment relationships. On the other hand, employers should not ask for any personal information are that it may bring discomfort to the candidates and the information asked can be traumatic. It can be said that it depends on the employer of how that information is being asked on the interview panels.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

The response discusses both reasons employers might seek personal information and reasons they should avoid doing so, and the conclusion gives a conditional view that its usefulness depends on how questions are asked. The examples about assessing suitability and causing discomfort are relevant. However, the position is not fully clear until the conclusion, and the supporting ideas are unevenly developed. The claim that a newly married woman may want to start a family relies on a broad assumption and does not explain why marital status is a fair or reliable hiring criterion. The football-loss example is also difficult to connect to asking about hobbies. To strengthen the response, state your own view clearly in the introduction and develop each point with a more realistic explanation or example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, two paragraphs presenting reasons in favour, two paragraphs against, and a conclusion. Sequencing phrases such as “Firstly,” “Secondly,” and “Moving on” help readers follow the discussion. However, the progression is somewhat mechanical, and some links between ideas are unclear. For instance, the example about a candidate’s loss in football does not clearly show how a routine question about interests would cause trauma. The conclusion repeats the earlier points rather than bringing them together into a precise final position. Some references, such as “this information” and “it,” could also be made more specific. Use transitions that show the relationship between claims and examples, and ensure each paragraph develops one clearly connected point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate its main ideas, including “marital status,” “employment relationships,” “suitable,” and “discomfort.” It also attempts more formal expressions such as “relevant and useful.” However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear. Examples include “view the criteria and importance of the job,” “work in stress environment,” and “bring bad picture to the employer.” The repeated use of “personal information” and “important” also limits flexibility. Aim for more natural phrases such as “assess a candidate’s suitability,” “work in a high-pressure environment,” and “create a negative impression.” Check word forms and spelling as well, including “interests,” “candidate,” and “traumatic.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The essay attempts both simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “if a women is newly married” and clauses introduced by “because” and “where.” However, errors are frequent, and some complex sentences are difficult to follow. For example, “if a women is newly married then during interviews, the candiate reveals that she is recently got married” has problems with agreement and verb construction. Other examples include “these information may be,” “employers should not ask for any personal information are that,” and “the candidate may seem to leave the room.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation also need attention, particularly where several ideas are joined in one sentence. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, articles, verb forms, and complete sentence structures before adding further complexity.

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