Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Personal informations request by the employers during interview: Is it necessary?

In these days, many employers asks so many irrelevant questions during the interview, like what are your hobbies?, are you married or single? ,etc. Personally, i strongly oppose this types of questions, because its doesn't have any link with the job. The company or the recruter should ask the questions which can help their companys to grow, for example, if the recruter ask the question, like what are your skills?, and what are your education background?, it will be benicial for both, the candiat and the employers.

Even though, some of the employers they ask these questions in their requirement forms, these practices should be evàuated by the goverement and the regulatory bodies in order to help the citizens to protect thier informations personels. Moreover, its the right to protect the informations personals as per the law in some contries, such as the United States of America & the the United Kingdom, which give the authority to thier citizens not to provide any personal informations or the informations irrelevant as per the employers.

To conclude,i just want to say the employer should ask the relevant questions in order to find the right candiat as per thier requirements, which could be beneficial for the company as well as the applicant, and the authoritiy bodies such as muncipality and the responbile personne should monitor these issues in order to protect everyone, including the candiat for the job and the employers.

Thank you!

Shoeb.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

Your position is clear: you oppose employers asking about marital status or hobbies when these details are unrelated to the job. You also give relevant examples of more appropriate questions, such as asking about skills and education, and explain that personal information should be protected. However, the task asks you to discuss both views, and the opposing view is not meaningfully explained: the brief reference to employers including questions on forms does not show why some consider the information useful. Your own argument is also asserted more than developed, and the conclusion repeats your position rather than adding support. To strengthen the response, explain a plausible benefit—for example, how a hobby might indicate a job-related skill—and then weigh it against your concerns about privacy and fairness.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, a paragraph about privacy and regulation, and a concluding paragraph. The reader can follow your main position, and linking expressions such as “Even though,” “Moreover,” and “To conclude” signal relationships between ideas. However, the progression is limited: the opposing view is not developed, and the second paragraph moves quickly from application forms to laws without clearly connecting those points. Some transitions are awkward or mechanically placed, and the conclusion repeats earlier claims. Organise the body into separate paragraphs for the two views, use clear topic sentences, and make each example directly support the point it follows. This would create a more consistent line of argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “irrelevant questions,” “skills,” “education background,” “regulatory bodies,” and “protect.” These choices make your general meaning understandable. However, the range is limited and several word-form, spelling, and collocation errors make the writing less precise, such as “personal informations,” “recruter,” “candiat,” and “informations personels.” Some phrases are also unnatural, including “authority bodies” and “the right candiat as per their requirements.” Aim to learn common collocations for employment and privacy, and check spelling and singular/plural forms carefully. More precise expressions would help you explain the opposing view and distinguish job-relevant personal details from information that is unrelated to selection.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, including a sentence beginning “Even though” and a concluding sentence with several linked ideas. The main message is generally recoverable, but errors in agreement, sentence construction, articles, and punctuation occur frequently. For example, “many employers asks” should use a plural verb, while “its doesn't have” has an incorrect subject form and contraction. The opening paragraph also contains a run-on sequence of questions and clauses, and “Even though, some of the employers they ask” is not a well-formed subordinate clause. Practise building one clear main clause at a time, then add subordinate clauses accurately. Check subject–verb agreement and sentence boundaries, and avoid comma splices.

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