Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

As we are all aware that many companies ask for our personal information when we apply for a job. Some people gets a bit irritated and shy to share things about their personal life. On the other hand, some people are pretty confident open their life in front of all and they dont feel sad or shy about it.

I assume that companies ask such questions to know better about their employees and to understand them better. By knowing the employees personal information, one can predict many things about that person. Information about marriage, hobbies, interests and schedule may tell a lot of things about the personality of the employee.

But some workers may find it annoying and some may feel shy to share their their private affairs with others. They casually think that personal information about an employee has nothing to do with their office tasks. Others may presume that people will judge them for their preferences and talk behind their back.

For example, if a company ask for hobbies, they may predict what kind of work and department suits the employee. On the other hand, if companies ask whether the employee is single or married, this maybe to know what can be the possible priority of that employee as a single person will prioritize his work but a married employee will give priority to his wife or family. These things can define certain possibilities about the worker.

I believe the solution for this issue is that, the companies should make it clear to employees, why are interested in knowing certain personal information about the employee. In this way, both the company and the employee won't feel embarrassed and they can talk honestly about their private world's.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and give a clear personal position in the final paragraph: you recommend that employers explain why they need the information. The response also offers relevant reasons, such as how hobbies might help identify a suitable department and why applicants may worry about being judged. However, the two sides are not developed equally. The claim that personal details help employers “predict many things” remains broad, and the example about married employees prioritising family over work relies on a generalisation rather than a carefully explained reason. To strengthen the response, explain when such questions are genuinely relevant to job performance and distinguish those cases from intrusive or potentially discriminatory questions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: it introduces the issue, explains why employers may ask, presents applicants’ concerns, gives an example, and ends with your view. Paragraphing helps the reader follow these stages, and phrases such as “On the other hand” signal contrast. Some connections are less clear or feel mechanical, however. The fourth paragraph shifts between hobbies and marital status without a clear link, while “These things” does not precisely identify which points it refers to. The opening also repeats the idea of personal information before the argument develops. Use clearer topic sentences and more precise referencing, and make each paragraph’s relationship to the central argument explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for the topic, including “personal information,” “private affairs,” “preferences,” and “priority.” These choices make the main ideas understandable, and you attempt some less common phrasing such as “predict what kind of work and department suits the employee.” However, several expressions are imprecise or unnatural, including “open their life,” “talk behind their back,” and “private worlds.” Repetition of “personal information” and “employee” also limits flexibility. Some word forms and spelling conventions need attention, such as “dont” and “maybe” where you mean “may be.” Aim for more precise workplace vocabulary and natural collocations when discussing privacy, suitability, and job-related relevance.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if a company ask for hobbies” and clauses explaining why applicants may feel uncomfortable. The overall meaning is generally clear, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “many companies ask” is followed by “some people gets,” where the subject and verb do not agree; “why are interested” is missing a subject; and “a company ask” needs a singular verb. There are also problems with articles and possessives in phrases such as “the employees personal information.” Review subject–verb agreement, sentence completeness, and apostrophes, then proofread punctuation and sentence boundaries. More accurate control of these patterns would make your ideas easier to follow.

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