Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Everybody needs a job for their daily life expenses. A few employers ask personal details for example their hobbies , interests or either they are single or married when somebody apply for a job. Some individuals argue that this information might be helpful for the employer to find a suitable candidate for the job, while others disagree with this statement. I will discuss both the views and my opinion in the following paragraphs.

To begin with, asking about employees hobbies while hiring can actually help the employer to find a skilled worker. For instance, a news article revealed that if an employee participate in other hobbies such as playing games or exercising that means the employee is more productive and active than who do not have any physical activity in their routine because exercising helps the brain to relax and workers can be achieve positive results in their field. Secondly, if the majority of the employees are unmarried, it can be beneficial for expanding the business. For instance, the employees will be more focussed on their work rather than on their families.

On the other hand, it looks quite rude and unprofessional asking about someone's personal life. For example, sometimes people going through their rough time. They might be financial struggling and not able to afford money on themselves such as purchasing a gym membership. People are just applying the jobs for their survival. Thus, asking about personal questions sometimes looks unprofessional.

From my perspective, employers and hiring managers should always questions which can bring positive outcomes for their business. If owners know about hobbies or interests of their employees, it also helps them to have a strong bond with their employees.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and state your opinion, so the response covers the main parts of the task. The point that hobbies may indicate an active, productive employee is relevant, and you support it with an example. However, the discussion is uneven: the claim that unmarried staff focus more on work is a broad generalisation and is not sufficiently explained, while the opposing view focuses mainly on the cost of gym membership rather than the wider concern about privacy or unfair hiring decisions. Your final opinion—that employers should ask questions that benefit the business—is clear but does not fully resolve which personal details are appropriate. Develop each argument more carefully and make your position more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a concluding opinion. Signposts such as “To begin with,” “On the other hand,” and “From my perspective” help readers follow the discussion. Within paragraphs, however, the progression is sometimes mechanical, and links between claims and explanations are not always clear. For example, the move from hobbies to marital status in the first body paragraph is abrupt, and the gym-membership example does not clearly establish why asking about personal information is unprofessional. Some references, such as “this information” and “it,” could be more specific. Use clearer links between each claim, its explanation, and its example.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough vocabulary to discuss employment and personal information, including “suitable candidate,” “productive,” “unprofessional,” and “positive outcomes.” These choices communicate the main ideas, but the range is somewhat limited and several expressions are imprecise or unnatural. For example, “daily life expenses” and “financial struggling” do not express the intended meanings naturally, while “employees hobbies” needs a possessive form and “focused on their work rather than on their families” is an overgeneralised phrasing. Repetition of “employees,” “personal,” and “work” also limits flexibility. Aim for more precise collocations and vary how you refer to applicants, workplace performance, and privacy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional and explanatory structures such as “if an employee participate…” and “because exercising helps…”. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause. Examples include “when somebody apply,” “if an employee participate,” “who do not have,” and “workers can be achieve”; these require corrected verb forms and clearer clause structure. The final sentence, “employers and hiring managers should always questions,” also has an incorrect verb pattern. Review subject–verb agreement and the forms following modal verbs, and proofread each sentence for a complete, grammatically consistent structure.

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