Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is irrefutable that nowadays organization ask personal details of the applicant, while appling for job. Some people argue that, asking the personal information such as marital status and hobbies is irrelevent. While others believe, it is useful because employer will know the personal circumstances of there employee.

Asking private information is beneficial in some cases. Nowadays, most of people are working in a fast-phase environment. They might get stressed due to those working conditions. If an employer knows the personal interest of their workers, they might arrange some games or activity which might help them to relax. For instance, currently multi national companies use the personal records of their employees arrange in activites, which their employee like most such as painting, musical events. Furthermore, these personal information is useful to know about the workers who are married or seprated. In some cases the employers are suffering from some families issue, with the help of this personal details employer, can provide counsling which will give extra support to these worker.

However, employer should also ask for the other details such as professional skills and previous experience, along with personal details. Knowing about the professional skills of an employee will give a insight to an employer that where that person will fit within the organization and what job responsibilities they can handle. Moreover, this also can help an organization to identify the best talant for there company. For example, job sites makes a seprate coloum for the skills and pervious experience to hire best talant.

In conclusion, asking personal information is useful in certain conditons. I believe, they should more focus on the interpersonal skills and pervious experience,

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and give a personal position: you explain how employers might use information about interests to organise activities, and marital circumstances to offer support, before emphasising professional skills and experience. These examples are relevant, but the discussion is uneven. The opposing view—that personal questions may be irrelevant or intrusive—is not explained, so the response does not fully develop both sides of the prompt. Your conclusion says personal information is useful “in certain conditions,” but the final sentence is incomplete and does not clearly resolve how employers should balance personal and professional information. Develop the case against collecting such details and state your position more decisively.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion. “Furthermore,” “However,” and “In conclusion” help signal the direction of the discussion, and the examples generally follow the points they support. However, progression is not consistently clear: the second body paragraph focuses mainly on professional skills rather than explaining why personal information may be irrelevant, which weakens the link to the task’s two views. Some connections are also awkward or unclear, such as “with the help of this personal details employer, can provide counselling.” The conclusion ends abruptly, leaving the argument unfinished. Make each paragraph’s central purpose explicit and use clearer references between claims and examples.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “marital status,” “personal circumstances,” “professional skills,” and “previous experience,” and you attempt more specific terms such as “counselling” and “interpersonal skills.” This gives you enough range to communicate the main ideas. However, spelling and word-choice errors are noticeable and sometimes make the reader pause: “irrelevent,” “seprated,” “talant,” and “pervious” are examples. Some combinations are also unnatural, such as “fast-phase environment” and “personal records … arrange in activities.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise language for privacy, relevance, and job suitability would also help you explain both sides of the issue.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including conditional structures such as “If an employer knows … they might arrange” and clauses beginning with “which.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors occur frequently enough to make some relationships difficult to follow. For example, “organization ask personal details” has a subject–verb agreement problem, while “employer will know the personal circumstances of there employee” has errors in articles and possessive form. The sentence beginning “In some cases the employers are suffering…” is also difficult to parse because its clauses are not clearly joined. The conclusion’s final sentence is incomplete. Practise agreement, articles, possessives, and sentence boundaries, then proofread each sentence for a complete and clear structure.

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