Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Jobs play a very crucial role in every ones lives as people can earn money. It is often argued that, manytimes jobsekkers ask folks applying for jobs, likewise hobbies and interests and when they are single or married.Other people opine that, this information is relevant and useful. But some people are not agree with it. I will discuss both viewpoints and give my own opnion in upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with, nowdays people always perfer to get job related to their hobbies and interests. To explain it, people are more focused and give hundered percent so they can show their interest related to their work as well as become a successfull person lives. For example, 70% of people are perfer to choosse work which they enjoy and do it happily and peacefully. Therefore, the productivity of that firms will be increase and they will get promotion very easily.

On the other hand, people think this is wrong. To explicate it,masses opine that, if they choose their carrer like that then no one doing study and they cannot get knowledge theroticallly which is not sutiable for companies.For instance, 60% of the comapnies are lost beacause of this as employers have not knowledge of theory. Thus, firms loss a lot and decrease the productivity of any service andd productivity.

In conclusion, both viewpoints have their own thought but as my perspective, people choose their carrier with their interst and hobbies so they put all efforts to build a new carrier and give best life to family.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You introduce the topic and state a preference for choosing work connected to personal interests, and you give a reason about motivation and productivity. However, the response only partially addresses the question: it discusses hobbies and interests but does not explain either view about employers asking applicants for personal information, especially marital status. The opposing paragraph shifts to whether people should choose careers based on theory or hobbies, which is not the same issue as whether employers need this information. Your position is present in the conclusion, but it is not consistently connected to the question. To strengthen the response, explain why employers might consider hobbies or marital status relevant, why others see such questions as intrusive or unrelated to ability, and support each view with a directly relevant example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “To commence with,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help show the intended structure. However, progression between ideas is not always clear because the body paragraphs move away from the question: the second discusses theoretical study and company losses rather than employers requesting personal details. Some linking phrases are mechanical, and connections within sentences are occasionally unclear, as in “Therefore, the productivity of that firms will be increase.” The conclusion repeats your preference but does not bring together the two views. Build each paragraph around one side of the actual debate, then use clear explanations and examples to connect its claims.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “productivity,” “focused,” “employers,” and “interests,” and you use some formal framing expressions. However, control of word choice and spelling is limited, and repeated errors sometimes make the message difficult to follow. Examples include “jobsekkers,” “perfer,” “successfull,” “theroticallly,” and “comapnies.” Several phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “build a new carrier” and “give best life to family”; “career” is intended rather than “carrier.” Some vocabulary, including “productivity,” is repeated without adding precision. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and use specific terms for the debate, such as “job applicants,” “personal circumstances,” and “job-related criteria.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including clauses introduced by “so,” “as,” and “if,” but the range is limited and complex attempts are often faulty. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in “the productivity of that firms will be increase” and “60% of the comapnies are lost.” There are also problems with sentence boundaries and punctuation, for example the missing space after “it,” and commas placed after “argued” and “opine.” The opening sentence, “Jobs play a very crucial role in every ones lives,” also shows problems with possessive form and agreement. These errors can make relationships between ideas harder to understand. Practise accurate subject–verb agreement, verb forms, possessives, and punctuation, then check each sentence for a clear subject and main verb.

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