Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, it is very common that employers include personal infomation, marital status questions in job application. Some people think that this infomation is useful. However, others do not support this. In this essay I will discuss both view points and give my opinion.

On the one side, asking for the personal infomation is vital for the job application as it helps the hiring team to understand better about the employee life. For example, my employer aslo asked me about my marital status during job application process. It helps them to understand that I house responsibilities as well. Moreover, they used my information to find out if I need to add spouse or dependents in the health care benifits.

On the other hand, Some folks oppose of collecting personal infomation during hiring process as It leads to discrimination when selecting candidate for the job. For instance, If someone is married and have children that individual will have more responsibilty as compared to someone who is not married. Unmarried can focus more on job duties and might ask for less vacation.

In my opinion, asking about personal infomation and marital status during job process is important because it helps to understand employer about what kind of personality you have and what are your areas of interests apart from job requirements.

In conclusion, employer should inculde non job related questions in the job application to understand employee interests However, choosing a candidate for a job should not be entirally based on the person's personal information. Employer should consider person's study level and previous job experience.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and give a clear opinion: you support asking for personal information, while adding that hiring should also consider education and experience. The examples about health-care benefits and family responsibilities are relevant and help explain why employers might request marital details. However, the discussion is uneven. The argument against collecting this information is mainly that married applicants may have more responsibilities and unmarried applicants may take less vacation; this is a broad assumption and does not fully explain the discrimination concern. Your own position also shifts slightly: you endorse asking about personal details, but do not clearly distinguish appropriate administrative questions from information that should not affect selection. Develop each view with more balanced reasoning and clarify that distinction.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, your opinion, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On the one side,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” makes the progression easy to follow, and the examples are placed alongside the relevant arguments. This meets the lower-band expectation for coherent organisation and shows some of the stronger control associated with more flexible cohesion. However, the linking phrases are somewhat formulaic, and the opinion paragraph repeats the first argument rather than developing a distinct conclusion. Some references are also unclear, as in “It helps them” and “they used my information,” where the employer or hiring team could be named more precisely. Use varied transitions and clearer referencing.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic-related vocabulary to communicate the main ideas, including “marital status,” “discrimination,” “dependents,” and “job requirements.” These terms show an attempt to discuss employment and benefits specifically. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems reduce precision: “understand better about the employee life,” “oppose of collecting,” and “areas of interests” are not natural expressions. Spelling errors such as “infomation,” “benifits,” and “entirally” are also noticeable. These do not prevent the reader from understanding the overall message, but they make the writing less controlled. Build a bank of accurate employment-related collocations and proofread carefully for spelling and word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You use both simple and more developed sentence forms, including a conditional structure in “If someone is married and have children…” and a relative clause in “questions… as it helps…”. The main ideas remain understandable, and some sentences are controlled, such as “In this essay I will discuss both view points and give my opinion.” Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “someone is married and have children” should use “has,” while “it helps them to understand that I house responsibilities” is missing a verb such as “have.” The final sentence also needs clearer punctuation between “interests” and “However.” Aim to check subject–verb agreement and ensure each clause is complete.

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