Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

these days, the topic of companies will ask the applicants for personal information with their own activities and interests. Others state that information think appropriate and beneficial. While some disagree. This essay will discuss both views before presenting my opinion.

On the one hand, normally in the corporations they will ask for personal information to peoples who is willing to apply for a job to their companies. For instance, the employers need to know everything personal informations for people applying for a jobs, they are need to check backround if they are qualified or not during the interviews such as hobbies and interests, psychologically mind to know the persons if having stronger dream in life and who trully be working hard and trusted. furthermore, attidute, strong personality, loyalty, hard working, faith in god, loving for their family, family oriented and have a goal in life that is all wants to know the employers and asking also if they are single or married one of the necessary to know if the applicants will working hard for their families or even single can look the employers for their hangry working hard one of the best thing.

On the other hand, while the others disagree to this asking employers for their personal information. For example, some individuals aplicants they dont like to share their private life or any because they are shy to know their dark backround. Therefore, not everyone having a good past, but the others wants to lift their life to change everything to their bad past and starting to applying for a jobs. But the things is sometimes they dont expect that they will ask the employers about fro their personal information and asking everything what their are doing in life past and the future. That is why others they disagree for personal information.

In conlusion, employers asking for their personal information is a must even the others dont like. However, I believe that every single information is necessary for all the companies for their business for true

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

Tinatalakay mo ang magkabilang pananaw at inilalahad ang opinyon mo sa konklusyon: ipinapaliwanag mong kailangan ng mga employer ang personal na impormasyon, habang kinikilala rin na mas gusto ng ilang aplikante na panatilihing pribado ang kanilang nakaraan. Gayunman, bahagya lamang napalawak ang talakayan. Inililista sa unang talata ng katawan ang mga katangiang maaaring hanapin ng mga employer—gaya ng pagiging tapat at pagpapahalaga sa pamilya—pero hindi malinaw na ipinapaliwanag kung bakit maaasahang palatandaan ng pagiging angkop sa trabaho ang mga libangan o marital status. Mas nakatuon sa privacy ang kabilang pananaw, ngunit hindi detalyadong tinatalakay ang mga epekto nito sa mga aplikante. Malinaw sa dulo ang paninindigan mong “every single information is necessary,” pero hindi ito nililimitahan o sinusuportahan ng isang tiyak na halimbawa. Bumuo ng mas kaunting punto gamit ang mas malinaw na pangangatwiran, at ibukod ang mga tanong na may kaugnayan sa trabaho sa mga tanong na nakikialam sa pribadong buhay.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

May makikilalang estruktura ang sagot: panimula, dalawang talata ng katawan na naglalahad ng magkasalungat na pananaw, at konklusyon. Tinutulungan ng mga panandang “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” at “In conclusion” ang mga mambabasa na masundan ang pangkalahatang daloy. Gayunman, madalas mahirap sundan ang pag-usad ng mga ideya sa loob ng mga talata, lalo na sa unang talata ng katawan, kung saan pinagsama-sama sa iisang mahabang pangungusap ang maraming katangian at pahayag. May mga ugnayang pilit o hindi malinaw; halimbawa, hindi malinaw na ipinapakita ng “Therefore” kung paano humahantong ang naunang punto sa kasunod, at inuulit lamang ng “That is why others they disagree” ang pangunahing ideya ng talata sa halip na magdagdag ng bagong punto. Gumamit ng mas maiikli at nakatuong mga talata at pangungusap, at tiyaking malinaw na iniuugnay ang bawat sumusuportang punto sa pahayag na pinatitibay nito.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

Sinusubukan mong gumamit ng bokabularyong may kaugnayan sa paksa, kabilang ang “personal information,” “private life,” “loyalty,” at “family-oriented,” at nakatutulong ang mga salitang ito na maipahayag ang pangkalahatang paksa. Gayunman, limitado ang lawak ng bokabularyo at may ilang maling gamit o maling baybay na nagpapahirap umunawa sa ibig sabihin. Kabilang sa mga halimbawa ang “hangry working hard,” “dark backround,” at “true” sa dulo, na hindi malinaw ang nilalayong kahulugan. Mayroon ding mga di-natural na parirala gaya ng “ask for personal information to peoples” at “starting to applying for a jobs.” Sikaping gumamit ng tiyak at natural na mga parirala sa halip na mahahabang listahan ng mga katangiang hindi gaanong magkakaugnay. Suriin ang baybay at pag-aralan ang mga karaniwang kombinasyon ng salita gaya ng “ask applicants about” at “relevant to the position.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

Sinusubukan mong gumamit ng mga payak at mas mahahabang anyo ng pangungusap, kabilang ang mga sugnay na ipinapasok ng “while,” “because,” at “if.” Gayunman, madalas mali ang pagkakabuo ng mga komplikadong pangungusap, at dahil sa madalas na pagkakamali sa subject–verb agreement, mga anyo ng pandiwa, articles, at hangganan ng pangungusap, kung minsan ay mahirap unawain ang mensahe. Halimbawa, may problema sa subject–verb agreement ang “people who is willing,” samantalang mali ang padron ng pandiwa sa “they are need to check.” Maraming magkakahiwalay na ideya ang nasa mahabang pangungusap na nagsisimula sa “For instance,” pero walang malinaw na hangganang panggramatika. Magsanay bumuo ng wastong mga pangungusap na may iisang pangunahing sugnay, saka magdagdag ng pantulong na sugnay kung kailangan. Suriin ang subject–verb agreement at mga anyo ng pandiwa, gaya ng “applicants who are willing” at “employers need to check.”

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