Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

To seleted best employee out to bunch of applications is tought for employers. Some people belive that employers ask to individual to include their personal detail, which should cover their hobbies, interests as well as statues of married, which could help them to find perfect fit for position, whereas other disagree with this statements. Boths views should be discuss in upcoming paraghaps and my personal opinion.

On the one hands, there are plenty of advantages of selecting application or individual for any role with actknowledging their personal interest and hobbies. Firstly, performanace improvement and get best out for any person will depends on their interest. This is because when anyone enjoying or loveing their daily activities which relate to their jobs,however this could helps to improve their performance and gives best results. For example, if any person enjoying helping people with even a small action then those kind of person should be a best employee at customer services position.

On the other hands, people thinks that this

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You introduce the topic and begin to explain one relevant reason for collecting applicants’ interests: a person who enjoys helping others may perform well in customer service. However, the response addresses the task only partially. The opposing view is introduced with “On the other hands,” but the sentence stops at “people thinks that this,” so its reasoning is absent. There is also no developed discussion of marital status and no clear, complete statement of your own opinion; the introduction promises one but does not provide it. The response is 83 words below the required minimum, which leaves too little space to develop both views and support your position. Complete the second side, state your view directly, and add relevant explanation or examples for each point.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is an identifiable attempt to organise the response: the introduction is followed by a paragraph beginning “On the one hands,” and a second viewpoint is signalled with “On the other hands.” The example about customer service also follows the point about job-related interests. However, the overall progression is incomplete because the final paragraph ends mid-sentence, and the promised discussion and opinion never follow. Linking phrases such as “Firstly” and “For example” help show local relationships, but the repeated “On the one/other hands” is not used accurately, and the introduction’s final phrase does not lead into a complete position. Use clear paragraph purposes, finish each idea, and connect the two views before concluding with your opinion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to employment and suitability, including “applications,” “position,” “performance,” and “customer services.” These choices make the general topic understandable. However, the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors make the writing less clear, such as “seleted,” “tought,” “belive,” and “statues of married.” Some phrases are also unnatural, including “get best out for any person” and “a best employee.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully. More precise terms such as “applicants,” “marital status,” and “job performance” would help you express the ideas clearly and discuss both sides with greater precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some complex sentence forms, particularly the opening sentence with “whereas” and the explanation beginning “This is because.” This shows an effort to connect ideas rather than rely only on short statements. However, control is inconsistent, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence construction frequently affect readability. For example, “people thinks” should use a plural verb, while “will depends” has an incorrect verb form. In “when anyone enjoying or loveing,” the clause lacks a correctly formed verb, and “this could helps” combines incompatible modal and verb forms. The final sentence is incomplete. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then add subordinate clauses and check each sentence for a complete subject and verb.

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