Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In today's modern era of employments it is very vital to provide all personal information regarding your marital status anf your passions while applying for a job. Here some of the masses thinks it is a good approach while other contradicts. So in upcoming paragraphs i will discuss both opinions and why it is not a relevant idea as per my perspective.

To start with those who are in favour of this statement that asking employees about their privacy is important because it helps in their growth . if the management at any workplace know that in which field a candidate is interested they will assign duties accordingly. Also if a person is married and company know about this they her to manage both work and personal life a balance. For instance, in 2018 a survey was conducted in a employment center by different employers that if they assign a duty to a person who is interested in that field the productivity of that company also raised.

On the other hand workers oppose this approach because it affects their potential to do any task because when they try something new in which they are not experience they get opportunity to learn something advance. it helps peaple to get opprtunity based on their knowledge and experience they have Moreover, Some candidate are not interested to disclose their family information. The reason behind this at a workplace everyone wants to be treated equally.

In conclusion both ideas are relevant but in my point of view management should hire workers based on their qualification and skills rather then focusing on their personal issues.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and give a clear personal position in the introduction and conclusion: you explain why employers might use personal details, then argue that hiring should depend on qualifications and skills. However, the discussion is only partly developed. The point about matching duties to a candidate’s interests is relevant, but the claim that knowing someone is married helps them balance work and personal life is unclear and needs explanation. The opposing view also shifts towards learning new tasks rather than directly explaining why marital status or hobbies should not influence recruitment. The survey example is vague and does not clearly support the point. Develop each view with a specific, directly relevant reason or example, and keep your position consistent throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “To start with,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” helps readers follow the main stages. Within paragraphs, however, the progression is sometimes difficult to track. For example, the second body paragraph moves from trying unfamiliar tasks to equal treatment without clearly connecting these ideas to employers asking about personal information. Some linking phrases are also mechanical, and the long sentence beginning “it helps peaple to get opprtunity” is difficult to follow because ideas run together. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each supporting point explicitly to the paragraph’s main argument; check that pronouns and transitions make the relationships between ideas clear.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “marital status,” “productivity,” “qualification,” and “skills,” so the main subject is generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning unclear. For example, “in today's modern era of employments” is unnatural, while “they her to manage” does not communicate the intended idea. “Those who are in favour of this statement” and “personal issues” are also imprecise in context. Spelling errors such as “anf,” “peaple,” and “opprtunity” further reduce accuracy. Build a bank of natural phrases for recruitment and privacy, and proofread spelling and word forms before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including conditional structures such as “if the management at any workplace know…” and a relative clause in “a person who is interested in that field.” However, control is inconsistent, and errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation sometimes make the reader work to understand the message. Examples include “Here some of the masses thinks,” “if the management… know,” and the incomplete construction “they her to manage both work and personal life a balance.” The sentence beginning “it helps peaple” also runs into the next idea without clear punctuation. Practise checking subject–verb agreement and completing each clause, then use full stops to separate ideas. More accurate control of these patterns would make your complex sentences clearer.

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