Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The employer demanding for personal details or information before employing a qualified person at work, some people consider it irrelevant while others doesn't. in my own opinion it is very essential to have details of your work, because it will help to track down their antecedence.

some people thinks that asking personal questions by employer before hiring someone in inconsequential, because it will have nothing to do with the person's qualifications and what should be highly considered should be the person's qualifications, and the ability for the people to defend the qualifications even if through rigorous test.those few persons that believes that our personal life shouldn't interfere in our daily endeavors at work.

while someone people thought otherwise, believing that asking personal details is essential before hiring an individual, so that the company will know how best to handle he or she mental stress, and also knows how best to assist their employees generally in their day to day activities.

During my last interview by faco store management last four years i experienced them asking me personally details before hiring me that's helps them to organize a surprise birthday party for me, which really got me excited and it helps to improve my output at work, that's how they also got me shoes and clothes. all this couldn't have been possible if my personal details wasn't not asked during my interview by the management.

In my own opinion we shouldn't hesitate to give accurate personal information to our employees because it comes with benefits that's above our expectations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You discuss both positions: that personal details may be irrelevant to assessing qualifications, and that they can help employers support staff. Your own view is also stated, particularly in the opening and conclusion, and the birthday-party example gives the response a relevant personal illustration. However, the argument is only partly developed. The prompt asks about hobbies, interests, and marital status, but these examples are not directly considered; instead, the response focuses broadly on personal information and workplace benefits. The claim that details help employers “track down their antecedence” is unclear, and the example mainly shows a social benefit rather than explaining when such information is relevant to hiring. Address the prompt’s specific examples and explain the limits of appropriate questions.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, a personal example, and a concluding opinion. This helps the reader identify the main stages of your discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow, and links between ideas are often mechanical or unclear. For example, “while someone people thought otherwise” does not clearly connect to the preceding paragraph, and the final example repeats the claim that personal details are useful without developing the discussion further. Referencing is also occasionally confusing, as in “those few persons that believes.” Use clearer topic sentences, connect each example explicitly to the relevant view, and ensure pronouns and references have unmistakable meanings.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You attempt some topic-related vocabulary, including “qualifications,” “rigorous test,” “mental stress,” and “day to day activities,” and the reader can generally understand the subject of your response. There are also attempts at less common wording, such as “inconsequential” and “antecedence,” but these are not always used accurately or naturally; “antecedence” does not clearly express what you mean in this context. Several phrases are awkward or imprecise, including “defend the qualifications” and “asking me personally details.” Repetition of “personal details,” “helps,” and “work” also limits the range. Build precision by choosing familiar collocations and using them accurately, such as “assess a candidate’s suitability” or “provide workplace support.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with reasons, including the sentence beginning “because it will have nothing to do with the person's qualifications.” However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Examples include “some people thinks,” “others doesn't,” and “those few persons that believes,” where subject–verb agreement is incorrect. Sentence boundaries and capitalisation are also inconsistent: the opening is a fragment, and several sentences begin with lowercase letters. The final example contains a confusing sequence of clauses joined by commas. Practise forming complete sentences, checking agreement and verb forms, and separating independent clauses with full stops or appropriate conjunctions.

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