Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It has been observed that, someone who is applying for job may asked about their interests, passion and their marital status by the employer, which seems be neccessary for further process. However, other people disagree. In my opinion, I completely agree with this trend because it give ideas about their abilities and interest.

On the one hand, asking applicants about their personal infromation results in knowing their interest, which help them to hire them for a specific position. For example, if someone is having interest in interacting with various individuals then can be hired for the customer service position. As a result, they can perform their duties more effectively and can provide better customer service. Moreover, knowing about their hobbies can help employer to see the ability whether they can handle work load or can able to work as a team during their low times.

On the other hand, sometimes providing the personal infromation may considered as judgement. For instance, the applicant who are shy and are less confident always face discrimination and unable to work more productive. Due to which, they stay back and get less opportunities to show their abilities. Furthermore, asking about their marital stauts may lead to hire them according to their personal lives instead of having proffesional experiences.

In conclusion, I agree that the infromation should be provided so that they can know about their abilities and interest, which help them to gain more experience. Thus, the infromation should be provide to some extent only.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You address both views and state a clear opinion: you support asking for personal information, while acknowledging that it can lead to judgement and discrimination. The examples about customer-service work and applicants who are shy help make the discussion relevant. However, the two sides are not developed equally. The benefits of hobbies are explained, but the claim that they show whether someone can handle workload or work in a team is not clearly supported. The concern about marital status is relevant, yet you could explain more directly how employers might use it unfairly. Your conclusion adds a useful qualification—that information should be requested only “to some extent”—but this limit is not explained in the body. Develop these points with clearer reasoning and a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. The signposts “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” make the progression easy to follow. Within paragraphs, however, some links between ideas are abrupt or unclear. For example, “Moreover” introduces a claim about workload and teamwork without showing how hobbies provide reliable evidence of these abilities. In the second body paragraph, “Due to which” does not connect smoothly to the preceding sentence. Some references, such as “they” in the opening body paragraph, could also be clearer. Use linking expressions to show precise cause-and-effect relationships, and make sure each sentence develops the paragraph’s main point rather than simply adding another claim.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a relevant range of vocabulary for the topic, including “discrimination,” “marital status,” “customer service,” and “professional experiences.” These choices help communicate the main ideas, and you attempt some less common expressions. However, spelling errors and inaccurate word forms are noticeable, including “neccessary,” “infromation,” “stauts,” and “proffesional.” Some phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “low times,” “stay back,” and “gain more experience” in the conclusion. Repeated use of “interest” and “abilities” limits flexibility. Aim to check spelling carefully, choose more natural collocations, and use precise alternatives such as “teamwork skills” or “personal circumstances” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, using structures such as “if someone is having interest…” and “although” is not needed to understand the contrast between the two views. The main message is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “may asked” needs a passive form (“may be asked”), “which help them” requires subject–verb agreement, and “the applicant who are” has a mismatch between singular and plural. Articles and infinitives are also problematic in “applying for job” and “seems be necessary.” Some sentence constructions, including “whether they can handle work load or can able to work,” are difficult to follow. Practise accurate passive forms, agreement, articles, and parallel structures while retaining your attempts at longer sentences.

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