Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, Some people argue that getting personal information which include things you would love or married or unmarried is good idea, whereas other say it not important for company. I personally believe that to some extent it's better which i will explain in paragraphs.

To starts with, people who said that having these information brings ideas to increase company producitvity. In thesedays, people get board easliy to do work and they are not able to get time enough for their hobbies due to which they are not able to focus on their company task or goals. So if company know their interest or hobbies then they may keep one day in a month to organise somethings which relevant to their hobbies. For example, In India, many companies who arrrange one party in which people get free lunch and give them bouns according to their performance in order to purse their hobbies.Due to which people are not taking stress about work they can do it with interest. This is the reason why it is better idea to take these information.

However, People choose their work according to interest and experience to get good wage. These information is not that important becuse workplace made for work not for getting information about their personal things. For example, IT companies are just focus on their producitvity due to this they offer good pay to their emplyers and their do not have interest in their hobbies or others things. If they know any person is married or unmarried then nothing can be changed people do their jobs about their skills it does not matter for company about their privacy.

To conclude, know about their employers for company is brings fruitful results but privacy matters becuase some people like to share but some are not. I personally believe that it should not important thing for company because they come for work and you offer them money which is equall efforts for both of them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You discuss both views and give a personal position, so the response addresses the main parts of the task. The first body paragraph explains how knowing employees’ interests might help employers organise activities and improve motivation; the second argues that skills and work performance matter more than marital status or hobbies. However, the position is not fully consistent: the introduction says personal information is useful “to some extent,” while the conclusion says it “should not [be an] important thing.” The examples are relevant but broad, and the link between a monthly event or bonuses and collecting private information needs clearer explanation. Develop each view with a more specific example and state precisely which information employers may reasonably need and why.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Connectors such as “To starts with,” “However,” and “To conclude” help signal the stages of the argument. Within paragraphs, however, some links are mechanical or unclear. For example, “So if company know their interest…” does not clearly show how collecting personal details leads to the proposed monthly event, and “Due to which” is used as a sentence link without a clear reference. The conclusion also introduces the idea of privacy without fully connecting it to the earlier discussion. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make the relationship between each claim, explanation, and example explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “productivity,” “performance,” “privacy,” “skills,” and “hobbies,” which allows you to communicate the main ideas. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling problems make parts difficult to understand. Phrases such as “get board easliy,” “purse their hobbies,” and “equall efforts” do not express the intended meaning clearly; “bored easily,” “pursue their interests,” and “fair compensation for their work” would be more natural. There are also repeated general terms such as “things” and “good.” Build a wider set of accurate workplace expressions and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentences, including conditional forms such as “if company know their interest or hobbies then they may keep one day…” This shows an effort to express cause and effect, but complex sentences are often faulty, and errors sometimes make the meaning harder to follow. Examples include “people who said that having these information brings,” “people do their jobs about their skills,” and “know about their employers for company is brings fruitful results.” These need clearer subject–verb relationships and more accurate sentence patterns. Articles, agreement, plurals, and punctuation also need attention, as in “if company know” and the inconsistent capitalisation after commas. Practise building accurate sentences before adding extra clauses.

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