Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-25
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
While hiring some companies require personal information from candidates including their interestys, skills, and sometimes marital status as well. so, it has both point of views when people agree with this and disagree with this statement that it should be the requirement or not. I'll explain both viewpoints in my essay.
The first and foremost reason behind this can be collecting personal habits of a person. to explain it more, sometimes agencies more focus on specific skills and capabilities to hire a employee in order to maintain their reputation and enhancing their business so they try to find more deeper information for people who are applying for job position in their company.For instance, many jobs need only particular knowledge and experience to continue the work hence they can't hire anyone who doesn't have that especial skill.
However, there is some negatives to this requirement which can't be overlooked. Starting with fair decision., many times it happen when people provide their accurate information to companies they try to compare people like if there's a family person applying for job HR suppose that he will have more responsibilities and sometimes he will come at work with disturb mind and it will impact their work quality on the other hand who is not married yet, will be more suitable for that position. As a result, there is chances of unfairness on behalf ofpersonal information.
To conclude, I personally agree with first reason because each job require different ability to do work so it would be easier for a company to choose best employee for their company within fraction of time.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You address both views and give a personal position, so the response is relevant to the task. The paragraph about employers seeking information explains that particular skills and experience can help a company choose a suitable employee. You also identify a genuine concern: marital status could lead to assumptions and unfair treatment. However, the first view is not fully matched to the question, which focuses on hobbies, interests and relationship status; the discussion shifts to skills and capabilities instead. Your conclusion supports collecting information but does not explain why hobbies or marital status are useful, and the reasons on both sides remain brief. Develop each view with a direct explanation and a specific example, then make your position consistent with that discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion. This helps the reader follow the broad direction of your argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and linking expressions can feel mechanical or inaccurate. For example, “The first and foremost reason behind this” does not clearly identify which view is being explained, while “Starting with fair decision” is an awkward transition into the concern about discrimination. The long sentence beginning “many times it happen” combines several ideas without clear punctuation, making the comparison harder to follow. Use topic sentences that state each side directly, divide complex points into shorter sentences, and use linking phrases only where they clarify the relationship between ideas.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “marital status,” “capabilities,” “reputation,” and “unfairness.” These choices show an attempt to discuss employment and discrimination rather than relying entirely on very basic terms. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning less clear. Examples include “collecting personal habits,” “a family person,” and “disturb mind”; these do not express the intended ideas naturally. There are also spelling errors such as “interestys” and “especial.” Build a more precise set of phrases for job applications and bias, and check spelling and collocations carefully. For instance, distinguish job-related qualifications from personal details and describe assumptions about family responsibilities explicitly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional example and a contrast between married and unmarried applicants. However, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors in sentence boundaries, agreement, articles and verb forms can make the reader work to understand your meaning. For example, “many times it happen” needs subject–verb agreement, and “a employee” has an incorrect article. The opening also begins a new sentence with lowercase “so,” while the sentence starting “For instance” runs into the next clause without suitable punctuation. Practise building one complete idea per sentence, then check agreement, articles and punctuation. Accurate control of these basic patterns will make your more ambitious sentences clearer.
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