Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some argue that asking job applicants their personal details such as their hobbies and marital staus maybe irrelevant to the employer. While others believe It can be useful. Personally I think such information is important incase of any emergency at the workplace.

On the one hand, asking employees about their personal lives can lead to violation of privacy. There can be certain information employees might not be comfortable to share with people. The employer might be tempted to share such sensitive information with other employees. Such incident can be used against the person in a demeaning manner. The employee might be made fun of at the office. People will begin to pry into the their personal life even though they are not comfortable with sharing such information with other people.

On the hand, personal details about one's life can be a life-saver in cases of emergencies. For example, when an employee suddenly starts feeling unwell at the place of work. The spouse can be contacted or he/she might be driven home if there's any information about their home address. Also sharing your areas of interest will help the employer know your capabilities and assign job roles that you can easily excel in.

In my own opinion, it is very important to share personal information like your marital status, hobbies and interest when applying for a Job. This vital information can assist the employer in making informed decision on roles you would perform very well in. Also some private information like your medical condition or marital status could also be useful if there are any medical emergencies. For instance when an employer is aware that one of the employees has a medical history of asthma, saving the life of the employee would be easier whenever he/she has an episode of asthmatic attack at the work place. Also contacting the spouse might also be necessary in such situation.

Overall, although sharing of personal information while applying for jobs can lead to violation of privacy, It can be useful when it comes to medical emergencies. It can also help the employer know the type of job role to be assigned to the employees .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both views and state a clear opinion: personal information can protect employees in emergencies and help employers assign suitable roles. The privacy argument is relevant and supported by the possibility of sensitive details being shared or used to mock an employee. Your examples about asthma and contacting a spouse also make the emergency point concrete. This meets the task well, but the two sides are not developed equally: the privacy discussion is mostly a sequence of possible consequences, while the usefulness of hobbies and interests is only briefly explained. The claim that hobbies reveal capabilities would be stronger with a specific example, and you could distinguish information genuinely needed for safety from details that may be irrelevant to hiring.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, moving from an introduction to opposing views, your own position, and a conclusion. Paragraphs generally have a central focus, and signposts such as “On the one hand,” “For example,” and “Overall” help readers follow the argument. This is a coherent arrangement, though some linking is mechanical and ideas occasionally repeat: the emergency value of marital status and contacting a spouse appears in both the opinion paragraph and the conclusion. The phrase “On the hand” also disrupts the transition, and “People will begin to pry into the their personal life” has unclear, awkward referencing. To improve progression, group related points, avoid repeating the same example, and use more precise links between claims and explanations.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range for the topic, including relevant expressions such as “violation of privacy,” “sensitive information,” “capabilities,” and “medical emergencies.” These choices make your main points understandable, and you attempt some less common vocabulary. However, several word-choice, spelling, and collocation errors reduce precision: “marital staus” is misspelled, “life-saver” is informal in this context, and “assign job roles that you can easily excel in” is not a natural collocation. “Demeaning manner” is understandable but less precise than describing the information being used to humiliate or discriminate against someone. Aim for more formal, accurate phrasing and check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex forms, including conditional and relative clauses, as in “whenever he/she has an episode” and “information employees might not be comfortable to share.” Meaning is generally clear, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “On the hand” is missing an article, “pry into the their personal life” has an incorrect determiner, and “This vital information can assist the employer in making informed decision” needs an article before “informed decision.” There are also sentence-boundary and punctuation issues, including the full stop after “manner” followed by an extra space and inconsistent capitalisation of “It.” Review articles, determiners, and sentence editing, while continuing to practise varied complex structures.

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