Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, many employers ask interviewers about their personal details regarding their hobbies and lesuire activities and whether they are single, commited or married. Some people support this development because they think these details are beneficial. While others disagree because they believe this may lead to confidentiality issues.

On the one hand, many critics support that, giving their personal details to the employer is useful for the future work environment. To elaborate it, some personal details are very helpful if any future emergencies arise at workplace. Furthermore, it is very helpful to use the relevant skills of the employees to improve work productivity at workplace. For instance, if any employee have health emergency at workplace then employer can contact his/her family immedieatly. As a result it can save the life of an individual employee.

On the other hand, others believe that personal information is not neccessory for the job and it is irrelevant and unuseful. To illustrate, giving personal details to the employer may lead to confidential issuses and it can cause privacy threats. For illustration, if employer have personal details of employee then he can misuse the personal details such us giving extra work to an employee who have better skill for the designated task. As a result the employee have to work more.

To summarize, while some critics argue that it is disadvantageous to share personal details with the boss because it can lead to more workload to some employees. However, others believe that sharing personal details can save an employee in emergency situation. I strongly support that sharing private details with the employer is beneficial because it can save worker's life and it can be very helpful for employees and employer in many ways.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You discuss both views and state a clear opinion in the conclusion: you support sharing information because it may help in an emergency. The emergency example—contacting an employee’s family—is relevant and gives one side some support. However, the discussion is uneven and the opposing view is not fully explained. The claim that personal details could lead to “extra work” is not clearly connected to hobbies or marital status, and the point about using employees’ skills to improve productivity needs a more specific explanation. Develop each view with a direct link to the kinds of information in the question, and explain why an employer would legitimately need or should avoid requesting them.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. Signposting such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “To summarize” helps readers follow the discussion. Within paragraphs, however, the progression is sometimes mechanical, with repeated patterns such as “To elaborate it” and “For instance.” Some links between claims are also unclear: the discussion moves from personal information to employees’ skills, then to productivity, without explaining the connection. The conclusion repeats the main points rather than bringing them together. Use clearer links between each claim and its example, and vary transitions so the argument develops more naturally.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “personal details,” “confidentiality issues,” “privacy threats,” and “work productivity.” This gives you enough language to communicate the main ideas, and some topic-specific expressions are attempted. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive: “support that” is awkward, “unuseful” is not natural here, and “confidential issues” does not express the intended meaning as clearly as “privacy concerns.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “lesuire,” “commited,” “neccessory,” and “immedieatly.” Build accuracy by checking spelling and learning common word partnerships, and choose precise terms for the specific information employers request.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “because,” “if,” and “while,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, some sentence structures and grammatical forms are inaccurate. For example, “if any employee have” needs subject–verb agreement, while “if employer have” is missing an article and also has an agreement error. The opening sentence is awkwardly constructed, and the final sentence joins several ideas without clear control. Practise accurate conditional sentences and check articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries. More reliable control of these forms would make your reasoning easier to follow while preserving the range of structures you are attempting.

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