Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Job employers collecting personal information from applicants is very relevant and vital in the sense that it is cery important dor employers to get proper information of who they want to employ and it is also for safty purpose. Take for instance,asking for someone's hobbies and interests will enable the emploer to know what role the employee can perform well. Also, knowing if the applicant is married or not is important in order to know his her time schedule when he or she can close inoder to attend to family needs. Also, it enables the employer to create awareness to others petting them know that this person is married to avoid adultery. At the same time, getting personal information from applicants is irrelevant because sometimes it makes people to take disadvantage of you. sometimes, when colleagues notice that you are not married, they try to talk down on you.Or when the emploeyr get to know what you are good at, he or she will want to take advantage of it by sending you to do works that are not meant for you.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both views: you argue that personal details can help employers match applicants to roles and understand scheduling needs, then explain that such information may be used to disadvantage people. However, the response is under the required 250 words, and this limits how fully you can discuss the issue. The first view receives more explanation, while the opposing view is supported mainly by brief examples of colleagues talking down to someone or an employer assigning extra work. Your own opinion is not clearly stated, and the point about preventing adultery is not convincingly connected to a legitimate hiring purpose. Develop both sides with relevant examples and state your position explicitly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic sequence: it first presents reasons employers might want personal information, then turns to reasons it could be harmful. Connectors such as “Take for instance,” “Also,” and “At the same time” help signal these moves. However, the ideas are crowded into one paragraph, and repeated use of “Also” makes the progression feel list-like rather than clearly developed. Some links between claims are difficult to follow, particularly the move from marital status to “avoid adultery.” Use separate paragraphs for the two views, group related points, and make the relationship between each example and its main claim explicit. A concluding sentence would also clarify how the discussion leads to your opinion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “applicants,” “hobbies and interests,” “time schedule,” and “take advantage.” These choices make the general subject understandable, but the range is limited and several spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision, such as “safty,” “emploer,” “inoder,” and “petting.” Some expressions are also awkward or imprecise: “proper information of who they want to employ” and “do works that are not meant for you” do not sound natural in this context. Aim for more precise employment-related language and check spelling carefully. For example, you could describe matching a candidate’s skills to a role or misusing personal information.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences using clauses and reasons, for example, “knowing if the applicant is married or not is important in order to know his her time schedule.” However, the range is limited, and errors in these constructions sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow. In “his her time schedule,” the pronoun structure is incomplete; “his or her schedule” would be clearer. The sentence beginning “Take for instance” also runs into the following clause without clear punctuation, and “when he or she can close inoder to attend” has an unclear grammatical structure. Practise building accurate sentences with one main idea and a clearly formed supporting clause, and use punctuation to separate examples and explanations.

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