Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

NOWDAYS, MANY EMPLOYERS ASK JOB APPLICANTS TO PROVIDE PERSONAL INFORMATION ,INCLUDING THEIR HOBBIE , IINTERESTS AND MARITAL STATUS. WHILE SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT SUCH INFORMATION IS RELEVANT AND USEFUL , OTHERS ARGUE THAT IT IS UNNECESSARY . IN ER OPINION , EMPLOYER SHOULD FOCUS MAINLY ON INFORMATION RELATED TO A CANDIDATE'S SKILLS,QUALIFICATIONS AND PROFESSIONAL ABILITIES.

ON THE ONE HAND, ASKING ABOUT HOBBIES AND PERSONAL INTERESTS CAN HELP EMPLOYERS UNDERSTAND AN APPLICANT 'S PERSONALITY AND SUITABILITY FOR A PARTICULAR POSITION . FOR EXAMPLE , SOMEONE WHO ENJOY PLAYING TEAM SPORTS MAY HAVE GOOD TEAMWORK AND COMMUNICATION SKILLS, WHICH ARE VALUABLE IN MANY WORKPLACES. SIMILARLY, A PERSON WHO REGULARLY VOLUNTEERS IN THEIR COMMUNITY MAY DEMONSTRATE RESPONSIBILITY AND A WILLINGNESS TO HELP OTHER . THERFORE , CERTAIN P

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response introduces the topic, acknowledges both views, and gives a clear opinion that employers should focus on skills and qualifications. It also begins to support the view that hobbies can reveal useful qualities, using teamwork and volunteering as examples. However, the opposing view is not developed, and the response ends mid-sentence (“THEREFORE, CERTAIN P”), so the discussion and conclusion are missing. The ideas therefore address the task only minimally rather than covering both sides with sufficient explanation. The response also contains 125 words, which is 125 short of the required 250; this leaves too little space to develop the argument. To improve, explain why personal details such as marital status may be irrelevant or unfair to consider, then restate and support your position in a complete conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

There is a basic, recognisable structure: an introduction is followed by a paragraph beginning “ON THE ONE HAND,” and the ideas within that paragraph are linked through “FOR EXAMPLE” and “SIMILARLY.” These signals help the reader follow the initial point about hobbies. However, the response stops before the argument can progress to the other view or a conclusion, so there is no complete overall progression. Some linking is also mechanical, and the unfinished final phrase interrupts the flow. Develop separate paragraphs for the usefulness of personal information, the reasons it may be inappropriate, and your own position. Use transitions to show how the ideas relate, rather than relying mainly on formulaic signposts.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “marital status,” “qualifications,” “professional abilities,” “teamwork,” and “communication skills.” These terms make the main subject clear, and phrases such as “a willingness to help” show an attempt to express qualities precisely. However, the range is limited by the short response, and several spelling or word-form errors reduce accuracy, including “HOBBIE,” “IINTERESTS,” and “THERFORE.” Some expressions could also be more precise: “personal information” is broad, while the essay could distinguish job-related details from private details. Proofread spelling carefully and build a wider set of accurate terms for relevance, privacy, fairness, and recruitment.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response attempts both simple and complex sentence forms. For example, the opening uses a contrast clause beginning “WHILE,” and the paragraph includes a relative clause in “someone who enjoy playing team sports.” These attempts show some range, and the main ideas are generally understandable. However, errors in verb agreement and sentence construction remain, as in “someone who enjoy” and “a person who regularly volunteers … may demonstrate.” The opening also has problems with articles and number, such as “employer should focus” and “other” where a plural form is needed. Punctuation spacing and capitalisation are inconsistent, and the final sentence is incomplete. Check subject–verb agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence completion when editing.

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