Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Employers often ask individuals about their personal information such as hobbies and interests. Some people find it relevant to deeply evaluate the charactersistice of a individuals. But on the other hand, some people opine that it is irrelevant as some people cannot disclose their personal things and create biasness among the individuals. I agree with the latter view point and I will discuss these points briefly in the upcoming paragraphs.

The main reason why asking the interviewees personal questions about their hobbies and interests is to deeply evaluate the characteristic about their personality. which further help employers to understand the personality of a person better who is applying for a particular role. For example, People who applied to jobs in Japan, mention their hobbies and interest on their resumes, and has greater chances to get hired as compared to others. Secondly, understanding a candidates marital status help companies to predict the flexibility or long term stability in a role. From this perspective, such details assist managers in determining whether an individual will fit into a corporate role.

On the other hand, many argued that personal details disconnected and irrelevant to ask. A person's maritual status and hobbies have no impact on their job performance. But it caused discrimination and baiseness among all interviewees. As a result, a competent candiate will lose its spot. For example,married women have less chances to get hired as compared to a single candidate, because employer will predict about her family planning and maternity leave.

To conclude, although, personal questins helps employers to get deep insight of personal characteristic components. but although it create baisedness as well, as some people will not get a fair chance who are not confident enough to disclose their personal things. To prevent this, employer should hire a candidate based on the job performances and previous work experience.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both views and state a clear position: you agree that employers should not ask for personal details. The response gives relevant reasons on each side, including using hobbies to infer personality and the risk that assumptions about married women may lead to unfair hiring. These examples show the beginnings of a developed discussion. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained: for instance, the Japan example does not clarify why listing hobbies improves applicants’ chances or how this relates to job suitability. The conclusion also repeats the contrast without adding much to the argument. To strengthen the response, explain the relevance and limitations of each type of information more precisely, and connect examples directly to your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The essay has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion. The contrast between the views is easy to follow, and signposts such as “On the other hand” help guide the reader. However, some linking is mechanical or awkward, particularly “I will discuss these points briefly in the upcoming paragraphs” and the repeated contrast in the conclusion (“although … but although”). The sentence beginning “which further help employers” is also detached from the preceding sentence, interrupting the flow. Some references, such as “these points” and “such details,” could be more specific. Use fewer formulaic transitions and make each sentence connect clearly to the idea before it.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “marital status,” “discrimination,” “job performance,” and “corporate role.” This is enough to communicate the main argument, but word choice and spelling errors are noticeable and sometimes make the phrasing less clear. Examples include “charactersistice,” “biasness,” “maritual,” and “baiseness”; “personal things” is also vague, while “deeply evaluate the characteristic” is an unnatural collocation. Some words are repeated, especially “personal” and “characteristic.” Aim for accurate, natural combinations and check spelling carefully. More precise terms such as “assess personality,” “private information,” and “unfair treatment” would make the discussion clearer and more appropriate to the topic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including clauses introduced by “because” and “as compared to,” and the overall meaning is generally understandable. However, errors in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and punctuation occur often enough to make some sentences difficult to read. For example, “which further help employers” is an incomplete clause and has an agreement error; “understanding a candidates marital status help” also has errors in the possessive form and subject–verb agreement. In the conclusion, “although … but although” creates a faulty structure. Practise building complete sentences and checking that subjects and verbs agree. Pay particular attention to sentence boundaries, apostrophes, and commas after introductory phrases.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.