Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Employers sometimes enquire people applying for jobs for personal information, such as thgeir hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. For applying the job employers or managers want to know about their personal information, and if they have any hobbies and interests, therefore they could participate in sports with other companies and they get more projects. Furthermore, Few people say that company doesn't need any personal information just they acquire qualification and experience that they can do more projects, such as providing a talent to their company that can beneficial for their company.

To begin, asking people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single, some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, such as if they are married they can obtain a short hour for work and to leave early to home or if they are single they have to do extra work or sometimes night shifts, and if they have any hobbies and interest such as sports, quiz and speaking. Therefore, they can competite with other companies and obtain moire projects.

Furthermore, few people are disagree with their statement to enquire about peoples personal information, thus they just want their qualification, talent and experience for work. Moreover, with the qualification they suggest higher recommandation and acquire their knowledge, and by experience they could approuch new people and they can do more projects without delay.

In conclusion, enquire people applying for jobs for personal information, like their hobbies and interests, whether they are married or single, that they can require suitable work for those people, Furthermore, few people are disagree with their point to enquire about peoples personal information. They just need their qualification to acquire theie knowledge, and experience for having more projects and completing within duration.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You address both views and include a personal position, particularly by contrasting employers who may value applicants’ interests with those who prioritise qualifications and experience. However, the discussion is only partially developed, which fits this level: the claim that married applicants should receive shorter hours, while single applicants should do extra work or night shifts, is asserted without explaining why this is fair or useful. The link between hobbies and winning projects is also unclear. Your conclusion repeats the two sides but does not clearly state which view you support. To strengthen the response, explain each side with a relevant example and state your own opinion directly, then maintain that position throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “To begin,” “Furthermore” and “In conclusion” help identify the stages of the discussion. However, progression within paragraphs is often difficult to follow: the first paragraph moves from personal information to sports with other companies and then to qualifications without clear links. Several ideas are repeated, especially the task wording about hobbies, interests and marital status, while the conclusion largely restates earlier points. Some linking words are used mechanically rather than showing a precise relationship between ideas. Organise each body paragraph around one view, explain its reasoning in sequence, and use clear references to connect examples to the main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some vocabulary relevant to employment, including “qualification,” “experience,” “projects” and “night shifts,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make meaning unclear, such as “participate in sports with other companies,” “suggest higher recommandation” and “acquire their knowledge.” Spelling errors, including “thgeir,” “competite” and “moire,” also reduce accuracy. Repetition of “personal information,” “qualification” and “experience” limits flexibility. Build a more precise set of employment-related phrases and check spelling; for example, explain that an applicant’s interests may indicate teamwork or that relevant experience can help them perform the role effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, using clauses introduced by “if,” “such as” and “therefore,” and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, complex sentences are often poorly controlled, and errors in agreement, articles and sentence construction recur. Examples include “Few people say that company doesn’t need,” “few people are disagree” and “that can beneficial for their company.” The opening phrase “For applying the job” also shows an inaccurate grammatical pattern. Some sentences run together, making the relationships between clauses unclear. Practise building accurate sentences with one main idea and a correctly formed supporting clause, paying particular attention to verb forms and subject–verb agreement.

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