Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Jobs are very important for everyone to survive in everyday life. There are some business owners asks for personal interests while individual applying for the jobs such as, their hobbies and about their married life but some people think this information is useful and on the other hand some people are not agree with opinion. Here i would like to discuss about both opinion in the upcoming paragraphs.

In the beginning , i am agree with this opinion employer should know about employees hobbies ,because hobbies represents the what kind of individual behavior have , for example if people represent they are interested to stay at quite places through their hobbies then how would they able to do work in pressure conditions. Here is example , if restaurants owners wants to hire a employee and employees can not able do work in rush hours it will effect restaurants reputation and customers service .

On the other hand , i would say this information is useless the reason for this , employee will work accordingly their experience , knowledge and skills. Hobbies and married these things never effect the work . for example if employee is married, and employee has a experience and handling work very well then it does not make any sense to get his personal information as compared to his work skills .

In the conclusion, i am partially agree with both opinion but getting personal information from people when they applying for job as compared getting knowledge about is work, experience is worthless.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and give a personal position, so the response is relevant to the task. The first body paragraph argues that hobbies may indicate whether someone can cope with pressure, while the second says experience, knowledge and skills matter more than marital status. However, the position is not fully consistent: you first agree that employers should know about hobbies, then conclude that personal information is “worthless” compared with work-related knowledge. The discussion of marital status is also brief, and the restaurant example does not clearly show how a hobby predicts performance. To strengthen the response, explain both sides more fully and state a consistent view on which personal details, if any, are relevant to hiring.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two paragraphs presenting contrasting views, and a conclusion. Phrases such as “On the other hand” help signal the shift between arguments, and the examples are placed alongside the points they are meant to support. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes difficult to follow, particularly in the first body paragraph, where the link between quiet hobbies and working under pressure is not clearly explained. Some transitions feel mechanical, and references such as “this information” and “both opinion” are not always precise. Improve cohesion by making each paragraph develop one clear claim, then explicitly connect the example to that claim; use fewer formulaic openings and clearer references.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “hobbies,” “experience,” “knowledge,” “skills,” “pressure conditions” and “customers service,” which allows the main topic to be understood. However, the range is limited and several word combinations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “business owners asks,” “married life,” “quite places” and “get his personal information.” These choices sometimes make the intended meaning less clear. Aim for more precise employment-related language and learn common collocations, for example, “assess an applicant’s suitability” or “job-related qualifications.” Also check word forms and spelling, including “restaurant owners” and “quiet places.” More accurate, varied phrasing would make your arguments clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, including conditional structures such as “if employee is married … then it does not make any sense.” This shows an effort to express reasons and examples, but control is limited: errors occur frequently and can make some sentences difficult to interpret. For instance, “There are some business owners asks” has incorrect agreement, while “i am agree” and “how would they able to do work” have faulty verb patterns. Articles and plurals are also inconsistent, as in “a employee” and “restaurants owners.” Practise building accurate sentences with subject–verb agreement, articles and verb forms before adding more clauses. Check punctuation and capitalisation, too, especially sentence openings and commas.

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