Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In today's competent world, individuals are increasingly tested on different aspects during an interview. Certain individuals find it appropriate that interviewer should ask about past time activities or marital status from interviewees. While others contend this notion. This essay will discuss both perspectives along with my own opinion which favours the latter section of the society.
Pondering over the first view, a specific section of the community advocates the idea of asking personal questions during recruitment process because it assists employer in slecting the suitable candidate as in several cases married employees are not available beyond office hours during an emergency which can severly affect the efficiency of an organisation, thereby leading to a considerable financial loss. Hence, owners are extremely cautious, perfectly reflecting that a burnt child dreads fire. Moreover, inquire individuals about leisure pursuits often showcase their ability to work in different circumstances. For instance, if a person is sports enthusiast then it is highly likely for him to be stoic and indefatigable which can foster a tendency towards higher productivity despite facing unfavourable and adversities in workplace.
Scrutinising the second view, other segment of society believes that job seekers should be hired based on their talents, skills and educational qualificatios because ultimately it is because of their interpersonal traits that propel them to reach at a desired outcome. Furthermore, problem solving critical judgement and analytical thinking are far more consequential than candidates' marital staus
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
You introduce both viewpoints and state a preference for the view that personal information should not determine hiring. The discussion of the first view is more developed: you explain how marital status might affect availability and how hobbies could suggest useful qualities. However, the second view is only briefly outlined, and the essay ends without a conclusion that clearly restates your opinion or explains why it is stronger. The response also does not meet the stated minimum length, which contributes to the limited development. To improve, explain the risks of using personal details—for example, unfair discrimination—and add a concluding paragraph that directly answers the question.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, a paragraph for each viewpoint, and linking expressions such as “Pondering over the first view” and “Scrutinising the second view.” This helps readers follow the broad direction. However, progression is incomplete because the second viewpoint stops abruptly, with no conclusion to bring the discussion together. Some links are also mechanical or unclear; “While others contend this notion” is a fragment, and “which favours the latter section of the society” makes the position harder to interpret. Develop a complete final paragraph and use simpler, more direct transitions so that the relationship between each claim and its support is clear.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You show an adequate range and attempt less common vocabulary, including “recruitment process,” “financial loss,” “indefatigable,” and “analytical thinking.” These choices allow you to discuss employment and personal qualities with some specificity. However, several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “competent world,” “past time activities,” and “foster a tendency towards higher productivity.” There are also spelling errors, including “slecting,” “severly,” “qualificatio[s],” and “staus,” which reduce precision. Aim for natural collocations rather than ornate phrasing, and proofread spelling. For example, “competitive job market” and “leisure activities” would express your intended meanings more clearly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt a mix of sentence forms, including longer sentences with subordinate clauses and cause-and-effect relationships. For instance, the sentence beginning “because it assists employer” connects a reason to a consequence, and the example about sports enthusiasts adds a conditional structure. Some grammatical errors remain, however, and occasionally make the meaning less clear. “Certain individuals find it appropriate that interviewer should ask” needs articles and a more suitable clause structure; “While others contend this notion” is not a complete sentence; and “it is because of their interpersonal traits that propel them” has a faulty construction. Check articles, sentence completeness, and subject–verb relationships, then revise long sentences into clearer units.
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