Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Applying for jobs is biggest maturity and wisdom work. In yester years, people not applyed, they direct gave the interview whereas nowsdays, for applying a jobs we need to make resume with relevant infromation. It has been put forward that applying for jobs for personal information may be relevant or not. I shall discuss both views in upcoming paragraph.

Sometimes people add their personal information such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single, it is benefical for the candidates. Sometimes interviewer impress with you hobbies and your interests beacuse they also in same interests. Apart from this, the material status helpful to mentioned in the resume, it is benificial for both the parties like interviewer and the candidates. Companies searching candidates according their budget if you mentioned that you are single or married,it is essay for themself to choose candidates according the budget.

There are two sides to every coin, similar people think that add personal infromation is not neccessary in the resume. They perfer to select by their knowledge and skills. Some people think if you have good skill and hand on experience that you do not need add personal details. Interviewer select you from your knowledge and assign work according you capability.

In conclusion, I am disagree with applying for jobs for personal infromation is needed. If I have good knowledge and capability then every company hired me with asking my personal details like hobbies and interests and my maritials staus.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You discuss both views and state your own position, so the response addresses the main parts of the prompt. The examples about shared hobbies and employers considering candidates’ circumstances are relevant, but the explanation that marital status helps companies choose “according the budget” is unclear and risks suggesting an inappropriate basis for hiring. The opposing view—that skills and experience should determine selection—is more straightforward, though it also needs a specific example or fuller explanation. Your conclusion repeats your disagreement, but the position could be clearer and more consistently supported. The response is 233 words, 17 words below the required minimum; develop each view with more explanation and a relevant example to meet the task fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion. This makes the overall arrangement coherent, and phrases such as “There are two sides to every coin” signal a shift to the opposing argument. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear: the link between marital status and a company’s budget is not explained, and several points are placed together without showing how they connect. Some linking expressions, including “Apart from this” and “similar,” feel mechanical or do not accurately express the relationship between ideas. Use clearer topic sentences and connect each claim to its explanation or example; this would make the argument easier to follow while preserving the useful paragraph structure.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt vocabulary relevant to employment and recruitment, including “personal information,” “knowledge,” “skills,” “experience,” and “capability.” These choices help communicate the topic, but the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make parts difficult to understand. For example, “Applying for jobs is biggest maturity and wisdom work” does not convey a clear meaning, while “material status” and “maritials staus” appear to be attempts at “marital status.” Repeated use of “personal information” and “good knowledge” also limits precision. Build a more accurate set of phrases for applications and hiring, and check spelling and natural word combinations so your ideas are expressed clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You use mostly simple sentence patterns and make some attempts to combine ideas, for example, “Some people think if you have good skill and hand on experience that you do not need add personal details.” However, complex constructions are often faulty, and frequent errors in verb forms, articles, agreement, and sentence structure can make the reader work to understand your meaning. Examples include “people not applyed,” “interviewer impress,” and “every company hired me.” The opening sentence and the sentence about marital status and budget are also difficult to parse. Practise forming accurate subject–verb–object sentences first, then add subordinate clauses with correct verb forms and articles. Careful proofreading for punctuation and sentence boundaries will also improve clarity.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.