Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Almost allover the world, job application is crucial for emploment with many types of informations copanies need to fill the vacant position. Now need of informations like leisure activities and keen interests have become debatable among the public. while some believe that such types of requirements are unnecessary, others hold the views that these are relevant. In this essay I will discuss the both arguments, and my opinion in following paragraphs. On one side, the individuals that are in favor of including these types requirements say that, there are many jobs which are related to physical activities or mental activities. In these kind of jobs these informations play important rule in selection of cadidates for employer. For example, jobs relating to markerting in which you have to travel a lot, therefore you need physical fitness, and IT jobs you need to be mentally fit.In addition, By knowing these informations employer want to satisfy himself, that person he or she going to select is physially and mentally fit for job. On the other side people who have narrative that these types informations are not important for employer explain that in routine work these informatons are disfunctional. Thus giving details about our personal life is irrelevant, the employer has no right to know all these points. in conclusion, I think that in an organizations there are different kinds of employments, each required different particular informations, so copanies cannot make seperate empolyment form for each job.I think it is not bad if you provide details of your personal life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both views and give a personal position, so the response is relevant to the question. The first body paragraph explains why hobbies or interests might matter for physically or mentally demanding work, and the conclusion states that sharing personal details is “not bad.” However, the discussion is only partial: the examples about marketing and IT are asserted rather than clearly explained, and the opposing view is brief, relying mainly on the claim that employers have “no right” to know. Your own opinion is also not fully consistent: you accept providing details, but do not clarify which information is appropriate or why. Develop both sides with specific reasoning and state a more precise position throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, two paragraphs presenting opposing views, and a conclusion. Signposts such as “On one side,” “On the other side,” and “in conclusion” help the reader follow the basic direction. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and linking can feel mechanical. For example, “For example” introduces job types, but the connection between marketing, physical fitness, and the relevance of hobbies is not fully established. The phrase “Thus” also links the opposing view to a conclusion without enough explanation. Improve cohesion by making each paragraph develop one central point in a clear sequence and using pronouns or transitions with precise references.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to employment and personal information, including “vacant position,” “selection of candidates,” and “physical fitness.” However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling, word-form, and collocation errors make parts of the response difficult to read, such as “emploment,” “informations,” “disfunctional,” and “narrative.” Some phrases are also unnatural, including “play important rule” and “satisfy himself.” These issues sometimes obscure your intended meaning. Build accuracy with common employment collocations and check spelling and countability: for example, use “information” rather than “informations,” and “play an important role” rather than “play important rule.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a relative clause in “jobs which are related to physical activities” and a conditional-style explanation of job requirements. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors in articles, agreement, sentence boundaries, and punctuation can make the meaning harder to follow. For instance, “In these kind of jobs these informations play important rule” has problems with demonstrative agreement, countability, and article use; “IT jobs you need to be mentally fit” is an incomplete construction. Capitalisation after full stops is also inconsistent. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check articles, singular/plural agreement, and punctuation when editing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.