Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In the modern era, many employers ask a people for job personal information and hobbies. I believe that both views have their own advantage. However my reasons are that opportunities to learn more value and culture are logically acceptable. I agree this forem view.

To commence with, employers ask a many genral qustions as social and domastic qustion. Rather than will give people to many help and support. Employer should ask married and single because people give a general information and help a work. employers know general condition and people should a leave a difficult situtation. people should a give more information. worker to many benefit a job. and worried a family.

furthermore, but they not like a give information because they understand not good habbiet. other people this to relevant and useful. they people not good idea give the knowledge. other people not interests a give information. because give the domastic knowledge a bad habbiet.

To conclude after pondering over deal of delibertion and thoughts. my opinion employers should give staff of personal information. because this very benefit for worker and company. they focus on a work. and improve a more skills becuse worker a not worried a family and childern. so i think worker should a give the personal knowledge.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response attempts to discuss both views and gives a position: “I agree this forem view” and later says employers should ask for personal information. It also offers a possible reason, that knowing about family circumstances may help workers and employers. However, the two sides are not clearly explained: the opposing view is reduced to people not liking disclosure, without explaining why such questions may be irrelevant or intrusive. The supporting points about leave, family worries and work benefits are difficult to follow and are not illustrated with a relevant example. The conclusion repeats the opinion rather than drawing together developed reasons. The response is 38 words below the required minimum, which further limits the opportunity to address and support the task fully. Develop each view with a clear reason and a specific example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic paragraph structure, with an introduction, two body paragraphs and a conclusion, and signposts such as “To commence with,” “furthermore” and “To conclude” show an attempt to guide the reader. The overall progression is difficult to follow, however, because the relationship between ideas is often unclear. For example, “Rather than will give people to many help and support” does not clearly connect to the point about asking whether applicants are married. The second body paragraph begins with “furthermore, but,” which combines contrasting signals, and several short statements repeat the idea of giving personal information without advancing it. Use one clear main idea per paragraph, connect each explanation directly to it, and use linking words only when their logical relationship is accurate.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some task-related vocabulary, including “employers,” “personal information,” “married and single,” “worker” and “company,” so the general topic can be identified. However, the range is limited and several phrases are inaccurate or unclear, which makes the intended meaning hard to understand. Examples include “learn more value and culture,” “general condition,” and “give the domestic knowledge”; these do not express a precise argument in this context. There are also frequent spelling errors, such as “genral,” “qustions,” “situtation” and “childern.” Build a small set of accurate phrases for discussing privacy, job suitability and workplace support, and check spelling and collocations. This will help you express the ideas more precisely without relying on repeated words such as “give” and “information.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt both short statements and longer clauses, and the reader can sometimes identify the intended basic message. However, sentence structures are often incomplete or incorrectly formed, and this regularly obscures meaning. For example, “I agree this forem view” lacks a clear grammatical construction, while “Employer should ask married and single because people give a general information” has problems with articles, number and clause structure. The fragment “and worried a family” does not form a complete sentence, and “worker should a give” shows incorrect word order. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, with a clear subject and verb, then join related ideas using “because” or “so.” Check articles, plural forms and verb patterns when editing.

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