Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In the ultra modern epoch, Companies try to grab all the knowledge about the employees. However, it a matter of debate whether industories should take all information related to the worker or not. Even though some masses says that these data is not helpfull to the employers, I believe that it helps to not only gowth the companies but also supports the employees.

Commencing with the most prominent reason, why industries should take all data from the worker in assist to growth of the businesses. Owing to information about their daily rutine and passion, manager can easily provide the works accordingly. For instance, in a bank, if the manager know his staff is instrested in the field work moreover he/she likes the driving, they give them a marking related job. Hence, it helps to growth of the company.

In addition, if employers know about their family members or they are couple or single, they support them. for example, mostly companies records about their staff about how many member in their family, so they give them accomodation accordingly. Therefore, thorugh this way companies support thier workers.

On the other hand, some folks say that there type of information like hobbies, passion and about their family member is not helpful to the companies. Companies have not enough time to give all employee according to there pasion because most companies their own goals and they give job to employee

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You present a relevant opinion—that personal information can help companies and employees—and give reasons involving job allocation and accommodation. However, the discussion of the opposing view is only begun: “Companies have not enough time…” is unfinished, and you do not explain fully why applicants’ private details may be irrelevant or inappropriate. The examples are also brief and somewhat unclear, so the main ideas are not sufficiently developed or supported. The response does not fully address both views or complete the discussion, and it is 14 words below the required minimum. To strengthen the answer, explain the opposing argument, state your position clearly in a conclusion, and extend each example with a specific explanation of its relevance.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, two paragraphs supporting the usefulness of personal information, and a paragraph beginning the opposing view. Linking expressions such as “For instance,” “Hence,” and “On the other hand” help signal relationships between ideas. However, progression is incomplete because the final paragraph stops mid-sentence, leaving the discussion and overall argument unresolved. Some links are also mechanical or unclear; for example, “Commencing with the most prominent reason” leads into an awkwardly formed sentence, and “Moreover” does not clearly connect the details in the bank example. Use complete topic sentences, make each paragraph develop one clear point, and finish with a conclusion that brings the two views together.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of topic-related vocabulary, including “employees,” “accommodation,” “passion,” and “relevant,” and some choices show an effort to use a formal register. However, spelling and word-choice errors are frequent and sometimes make the meaning difficult to follow: “industories,” “helpfull,” “rutine,” and “instrested” are examples. Several phrases are also unnatural or imprecise, such as “grab all the knowledge,” “marking related job,” and “growth of the company.” These issues limit the clarity and flexibility of your vocabulary. Aim for accurate, natural collocations and check spelling carefully; for example, describe employers as “collecting personal details” and employees as being “assigned a suitable role.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including “Even though…” and “if employers know…,” but control is inconsistent. Errors in agreement and verb forms appear in “some masses says,” “manager know,” and “they give them,” while missing or incorrect sentence elements affect clarity in “it a matter of debate” and “Companies have not enough time.” The final sentence is incomplete, and punctuation and capitalisation are not consistently controlled, as in “for example” after a full stop. These recurring problems can make the reader work to understand your meaning. Practise building complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries during revision.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.