Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Everywhere anyone who applies for job needs to fill an application and submit it in the cosen company. In recent times, it became talk of the town and there are many discussions going in and around about this topic, whether to agree with filling up the form with personal information or not. It is always a right choice to give personal details.

On one hand, there are peopel who are unsatisfied with providing the persoonal information in the society. They believe that getting the applicants details won't help the company's growth, it is always the hardwork of the job holder that gains the prosperity to develop the company. For instance, an individual's dedication towards his profession should be regarded but not his/her personal information.

On the other hand, some people argue that sometimes giving the personal information during the applying for job is extreamly needed, because, first of all, it is a basic requirement for job. and another possibility is to consider that the candidate is suitable for the job nor not. the biodata of the public is necessary for the companies to select the individual for an appropriate position. For example, in case if an emplyoyer is not regular to his duties, her/his personal data will help to find out reason behind his/her absent.

both points are correct from their perspective, but, in my point of view, proving the public's information is relevant, because this would benefit the person as well as chosen company. The factory will always has an eye his/ her work.

In conclusion, it is always encouraged to give the personal information such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. with the given details the candidatess are given jobs according to thier ability or interest.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You discuss both views and state your opinion, particularly in “On one hand” and “On the other hand,” followed by “in my point of view.” However, the discussion is only partly developed. The argument against collecting personal details focuses mainly on work ethic, while the argument in favour gives a vague claim that such information is a “basic requirement” and an unclear example about an employee’s absence. The task specifically asks about hobbies, interests, and marital status, but these details are mostly repeated in the conclusion rather than explained as relevant or irrelevant. Clarify your position on which information employers genuinely need, and support each view with a specific, plausible example.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, your opinion, and a conclusion. Linking phrases such as “On one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help signal these stages. However, progression within paragraphs is sometimes unclear, and some links feel mechanical. For example, “and another possibility” does not clearly connect the next point to the claim that personal information is a basic requirement. The example about an employee’s absence also does not follow logically from the discussion of hobbies or marital status. Use clearer topic sentences and make each example directly support the point before it; avoid repeating the same general claim in the opinion and conclusion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some vocabulary relevant to employment, including “applicants,” “dedication,” “profession,” “candidate,” and “appropriate position.” However, the range is limited and several inaccurate or unnatural choices make parts of the argument difficult to follow. Phrases such as “talk of the town,” “the public’s information,” and “the factory will always has an eye” do not express the intended ideas clearly or appropriately for this topic. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “cosen,” “peopel,” “extreamly,” and “emplyoyer.” Build a more precise set of terms for recruitment and personal details, and check spelling and collocations carefully so your meaning remains clear.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a conditional example beginning “if an emplyoyer is not regular to his duties.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and frequent errors sometimes make the meaning difficult to understand. Examples include “Everywhere anyone who applies for job needs,” “whether the candidate is suitable for the job nor not,” and “The factory will always has an eye his/her work.” There are problems with articles, verb forms, agreement, and sentence boundaries; for instance, “and another possibility” begins a sentence with a lowercase letter, while “both points” does the same. Practise building accurate sentences with one main idea, then check subject–verb agreement, articles, and punctuation before adding clauses.

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