Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Some companies job form ask regarding candidate personal things. Half of community believe on it but other people think, it is not genuine and helpful. I partially agree with these statement.

First of all, I think for some employers asking about personal information is important, because they think knowing hobbies of person will helpful in providing task regarding extra co-curricular activities as well as encourage the pupil to participate in games. In addition, some industries ask people about their marital staus because it is crucial things in some way. for instance, some foreign workers need employer support to bring their spouse in the country with them. so, for that right now, some employer is asking about married status before giving a job.

Secondly, other civilians not happy with that, some people does not like to share their personal life in their professional life. They want some privacy regarding their personal life. Furthermore, individual thinks providing family information with someone will put their family on risk. For example, In Canada, In 2020, one company's addministrative kills family member of Registered Nurse who is working in same company because he have all the information of that Nurse family. Also, In other Canadian company, employees teasing one employe's just because he is not interested in other activity rather than acedmic things.

Lastly, I think that taking personal information, such as hobbies and interest and married staus is totally good idea but it is also up to the workers that, which way they are using the informations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and state a position—“I partially agree”—then conclude that asking is “a good idea” if information is used appropriately. The examples about supporting a worker’s spouse and protecting family privacy are relevant to the topic. However, the position is not fully consistent: the conclusion sounds more supportive than the partial agreement stated at the start, and the reasons do not clearly explain when personal questions are justified or inappropriate. The examples about a nurse’s family being harmed and an employee being teased are serious but are not sufficiently explained or linked to employers’ use of application information. Develop each view with clearer reasoning and make your opinion consistent throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a concluding opinion. Sequencing phrases such as “First of all,” “Secondly,” and “Lastly” help readers follow the broad progression. However, some links between ideas are mechanical or unclear. For example, “so, for that right now” does not clearly show how the example supports the point, and the shift from privacy concerns to the two Canadian examples is abrupt. References such as “it” and “that” can also be vague. Use more precise linking and explain the relationship between each example and its main idea; this would make the overall progression smoother.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some topic-related vocabulary, including “personal information,” “marital status,” “privacy,” and “professional life,” so the reader can generally identify the subject of each paragraph. However, the range is limited and several inaccurate word choices or collocations make parts difficult to understand, such as “companies job form,” “believe on it,” and “put their family on risk.” Spelling errors, including “staus,” “addministrative,” and “acedmic,” also reduce accuracy. Aim for natural phrases used in recruitment contexts and check spelling carefully. More precise vocabulary would help you express the distinction between relevant job-related questions and intrusive personal questions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a reason clause beginning “because” and a relative clause in “who is working in same company.” However, complex structures are often faulty, and errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries occur throughout. For example, “some people does not like” should use a plural verb, while “hobbies of person will helpful” is missing a necessary verb form. Capitalisation and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “for instance” after a full stop and the repeated capitalisation of “In.” Practise building accurate sentences with one main clause and a clearly connected supporting clause before attempting longer constructions.

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