Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowdays, some employers ask job application about personal lives, including their hobbies, intrests and marital status. While some people believe that this information is useful for selecting suitable candidates, other argue that it is unnecessary. In my opinion, employers can ask about hobbies, but personl matters such as marital status shoud not good decision.

This essay will scrutinise both the aspects of quandary and ensuing pragraphs.

On the one hand, personal interests can provide useful information about applicants' personalities and abilities. For example, people who participate in team sports may have good teamwork skills, while those who enjoy reading may be willing to learn new things. This information can help employers understand whether candidates are suitable for particular positions. Therfore, hobbies and interests can sometime relevent during interviews.

On th other hand, many people believe that asking personal matters is inappropriate because it has no direct connection with professional skills. For instance, Marital status dose not determine whether someone is capable of performing a job successfully. In addition, such questions may lead to discrimination, as employers might prefer married or unmarried candidates for personal reasons. As a result, applicants may lose employment opportunities unfairly.As per reports wiki- pedia, China has 5% enemployment gain reason of this kind of peronal questions.

In conclusion, taking these points into consideration, from personl persprective without a shodow of doubt, hobbies and interests can help employers understand candidate's personalities, but i inclined to believe that perosnl information such as marital status shoud not be considered when hiring employees.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You address both views and make your own position clear: hobbies may help employers assess candidates, whereas marital status should not influence hiring. The examples about team sports and reading support the first view, and the discrimination point gives a relevant reason for the second. This covers the task well, but some ideas are less fully developed than others. In particular, the claim about unemployment in China is difficult to assess and is not clearly connected to the argument; the essay would be stronger if you explained a credible example rather than adding an unsupported statistic. The opening also says employers can ask about hobbies without clarifying when or how this information should be used. Develop that distinction to make your position more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, separate paragraphs for the two views, and a conclusion that restates your opinion. Linking phrases such as “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the discussion. However, some cohesion is mechanical, and a few connections are unclear. The sentence beginning “As per reports wiki-pedia” interrupts the paragraph’s progression, while “This essay will scrutinise both the aspects of quandary and ensuing pragraphs” adds little and does not lead naturally into the discussion. The conclusion also repeats the introduction rather than drawing the points together. Use simpler transitions and make each sentence build directly on the previous one.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “teamwork skills,” “professional skills,” “discrimination,” and “employment opportunities,” and you attempt more formal expressions such as “scrutinise.” However, spelling errors are noticeable throughout, including “Nowdays,” “intrests,” “Therfore,” and “perosnl,” which reduce the accuracy and polish of the writing. Some word choices and collocations are also unnatural: “personal lives” is less precise than “personal information,” and “not good decision” does not express your intended meaning clearly. The phrase “without a shodow of doubt” is overly elaborate for this context. Aim for accurate, natural phrasing and check spelling carefully; a smaller range used precisely would strengthen the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including a contrast clause beginning “While some people believe…” and a reason clause with “because.” Most of the argument remains understandable, but some grammatical errors affect clarity. For example, “other argue” lacks subject–verb agreement, “Marital status dose not determine” has an incorrect verb form, and “i inclined to believe” is missing the auxiliary “am.” The phrase “marital status shoud not good decision” also lacks the grammatical structure needed to express your point. There are some punctuation and sentence-boundary problems, particularly where “unfairly” runs directly into the next sentence. Review agreement, auxiliary verbs, and complete sentence construction, then proofread punctuation.

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