Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, many employers ask individuals while applying for any position in company their personal information suchas hobbies and interests wheather they are married or single. However, most of people think its best way to know better whereas, other disagree with the statement due to privacy concerns. This will both viewpoints and my personal opinion in upcoming paragraphs below.

On the one side,some personal information can be worth for employers such as knowing better employees interest, hobbies because to understand the personality and level of them.For example, if someone like clicking photographs it will benefical for the company's promotion or can give marketing role.In other words, hobbies, interest can help company to expand the vision and select candidate according to interest and give role and responsibilites.

On other hand side, many people believe it is unnecessary to ask personal information because privacy concern.Inaddition, some individual want keep their personal and professional life separate as they don't want mix both. For example, if a person is married or single have no connections with their technical knoweldge, education background.Moreover, in many occasion deserving candidate feel discriminated against these type of conditions.

In my viewpoint employer should only ask question related to job suchas employees education or wheather they have enough knoweldge to fit for role rather than a personal information because it is inrelevant.

In summary, although hobbies, interest help employer to understand employee personslities. I think single or married status should be kept private and moreover its personal matter of candidate.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You address both views and give a clear preference for keeping marital status private, while allowing that hobbies may help employers understand candidates. The examples about photography supporting company promotion and marital status not reflecting technical ability are relevant. However, the discussion is only partly developed: the benefits of hobbies are asserted rather than explained in detail, and the claim that candidates may be discriminated against is not illustrated. Your position also shifts slightly between accepting questions about hobbies and saying employers should ask only job-related questions. The response is one word below the required minimum, so it does not meet the task’s length requirement. Develop each view with a fuller explanation and make your final position consistent throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall arrangement: an introduction, one paragraph for each view, and a conclusion. This makes the main line of discussion easy to identify. You also use signposts such as “On the one side,” “On other hand side,” and “In summary.” However, some linking is mechanical or inaccurate, and several ideas run together, particularly in the first body paragraph. The opening sentence of the introduction, “This will both viewpoints,” does not clearly introduce the essay’s plan, while “In my viewpoint” begins a separate position paragraph that could connect more smoothly to the conclusion. Use clearer topic sentences, divide explanations from examples, and use referencing and transitions more naturally to strengthen progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for the topic, including “privacy concerns,” “technical knowledge,” “discriminated against,” and “personal and professional life.” These choices show an attempt to discuss the issue beyond very basic terms. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make parts less clear, such as “benefical,” “responsibilites,” “knoweldge,” and “personslities.” Phrases such as “clicking photographs” and “expand the vision” are not natural in this context, and “personal information” is repeated frequently. Build accuracy with common collocations and vary repeated terms: for example, use “taking photographs,” “broaden the company’s reach,” and “applicants’ private details.” Proofread spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including a conditional example (“if someone like clicking photographs…”) and a contrast introduced by “although.” The main ideas are generally recoverable, but errors occur frequently and sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Examples include “many employers ask individuals while applying,” “most of people think its best way,” and “some individual want keep,” where sentence structure, articles, agreement, or verb patterns are not controlled. Punctuation and spacing also need attention, as in “On the one side,some” and “privacy concern.Inaddition.” Practise building accurate sentences with a clear subject and verb, and check articles, plural forms, and verb agreement before adding longer clauses.

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