Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 11 · 2026-08-08
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
You work for an international company. You have seen an advertisement for a training course which will be useful for your job.
Write a letter to your manager. In your letter
- describe the training course you want to do
- explain what the company could do to help you
- say how the course will be useful for your job
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear Sir or Madam,
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Dear Mr Kapoor,
I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter to request you to allow me for joining one of training course related to advanced computer system in order to improve my productivity and for the better growth of our company.
Recently, I came to know about an interesting part-time computer course through an advertisement and I am eager to join it. As this course access me an opportunity to gain knowledge related to coding, opera and other systems and using them will be reduce my work stress and access me more time for other important projects. Hence, I am keen to join these part-time course within a short time, therefore, please give me a permission to join the course and reduce my working hours, so I can better focus on it and get good grades in the final exam of computer course. Then I will share this valuable skills with my colleagues.
In latest IT business market, these computer course will play a pivotal role for offering in-depth information and effective details in order to cope with the current technological problems of our clients and provide best services to client. Also, as the time passes, it would be necessary for employees to stay updated with recent advancement to build strong corporate image among the IT companies.
I hope you consider my request and allows me to join these course soon. I look forward to your prompt response in this matter.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
Yours sincerely,
Twinkle
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
You have addressed all three bullet points required by the task. You described the course, explained how the company could assist by reducing your hours, and outlined the benefits to your role. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat repetitive. For example, the benefit to the company is mentioned in the introduction, the second paragraph, and the third paragraph, which makes the letter feel slightly circular. To improve, ensure each paragraph introduces a distinct point rather than restating the same general benefits. The tone is generally appropriate for a formal letter to a manager, though the opening salutation did not match the prompt's instruction to begin with 'Dear Sir or Madam'.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The letter is organized into logical paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the request. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Recently', 'Hence', and 'In latest IT business market' to link your ideas. However, some transitions feel mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'Also, as the time passes'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear; for instance, in the second paragraph, the phrase 'these part-time course' uses a plural demonstrative with a singular noun, which disrupts the flow. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring consistent pronoun referencing would help the text progress more smoothly.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'pivotal role', 'in-depth information', and 'technological problems'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations. For example, 'access me an opportunity' is incorrect; 'give me an opportunity' or 'provide me with an opportunity' would be more natural. Similarly, 'share this valuable skills' contains a number agreement error. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, the frequent errors in word choice and collocation prevent the response from reaching a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is good. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('these computer course will play'), incorrect verb forms ('allow me for joining'), and article usage ('in latest IT business market'). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your request, they are persistent enough to indicate a lack of control over complex structures. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic errors such as pluralization and preposition usage after verbs.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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