Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-07-26
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job.
Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. In your letter
- describe the problem with the equipment
- explain how this problem is affecting your work
- say what you want the shop or company to do
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear Sir or Madam,
Student answer (Band 7.0)
Dear Sir,
I am writing to inform you that my mobile phone has stopped working, and I really need it tomorrow for my business meeting.
Firstly, this is an iPhone 15 Pro Max which my company provided for my office use. However, in the morning, by mistake my cousin spilt water on the phone, and at that time it was working, but after 1 hour the whole screen looked black. Moreover, I can hear phone calls, but nothing shows on the screen.
Furthermore, tomorrow I have an important business meeting; all my crucial files are in this phone. Although all my colleagues' contact numbers are only saved in this phone, now I am unable to contact them to share this problem. If my boss knows about this issue, he will definitely be very angry with me, and I feel he will fire me immediately because this meeting is very important for them because the profit of my company will depend on this meeting.
I hope you understand my situation. I would really appreciate it if you could repair my mobile phone as soon as possible or help me to transfer whole data in different phone so that I can give the presentation.
Looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours sincerely,
Sargundeep
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 7.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.5
The response covers all three bullet points required by the prompt. You clearly described the problem (water damage to the iPhone 15 Pro Max), explained the impact on your work (inability to access files or contact colleagues for a crucial meeting), and stated your desired outcome (repair or data transfer). The tone is appropriate for a formal letter, and the purpose is clear from the outset. To reach a higher band, ensure that the details provided are strictly relevant to the request; the section regarding your boss potentially firing you is slightly dramatic and less focused on the technical resolution of the equipment issue, though it remains relevant to the urgency of the request.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5
The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a formal closing. You use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', 'Furthermore', and 'Although' to connect your ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive. For instance, the transition between the description of the damage and the impact on your meeting could be smoother. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the problem from the consequences and the final request. The flow of information is generally easy to follow, and the relationship between the ideas is clear throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task. Phrases like 'crucial files', 'inform you', and 'appreciate it if you could' are used correctly. There are some minor issues with word choice, such as 'spilt water on the phone' (which is acceptable but could be more precise) and 'transfer whole data in different phone' (which lacks the necessary articles). You attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, but the range is somewhat limited. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated collocations related to technical support or business communication to show greater flexibility and precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical errors. For example, 'in the morning, by mistake my cousin spilt water' is slightly awkward; 'in the phone' should be 'on the phone'; and 'transfer whole data in different phone' requires articles ('the whole data', 'to a different phone'). Additionally, the sentence 'this meeting is very important for them because the profit of my company will depend on this meeting' is repetitive. Despite these errors, the grammar does not impede communication, and you show a good grasp of basic sentence construction.
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