Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-10-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job.

Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. In your letter

• describe the problem with the equipment
• explain how this problem is affecting your work
• say what you want the shop or company to do

You do NOT need to write any addresses.

Begin your letter as follows:

Dear Sir or Madam,

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Dear sir, Assalm o Alikum! sir has you know that i work form my home and i need some equipment such as predominant thing is laptop which is very substantial for me not only for me it is also essential for every man who work online it is not feasible to do job onine without using job. Now my laptop become very also it perfom task very slow. You often complain me about my slow job this is the main reason that i perfom my task very slow because whenever i try to work on my laptop it do not response me so much faster so it think it is not voiable. Therefore i want a new laptop form your company if you give me a new laptop then my work become a peice of cake for me morever i also do not give chance to you yo ask me about the work which i do not do at time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the equipment as a laptop and explain that it has become slow and sometimes does not respond. You also connect this fault to delays in completing work and request a replacement, so the main purpose is recognisable. However, the response only partially develops the required details: the exact nature or duration of the fault is unclear, and the effect on your work is described generally rather than with a specific consequence. The request for a new laptop is clear, but you do not explain whether you would accept repair or replacement under a warranty. The opening also does not follow the supplied greeting exactly, and the informal religious greeting is not suited to a formal complaint. Add precise details and a clear, professional request.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The ideas broadly follow a useful order: you introduce your home-based work, describe the laptop problem, explain its effect, and ask for a replacement. Linking expressions such as “Therefore” and “moreover” show an attempt to connect points. However, the response is presented as one long block, and several ideas run together, making the progression difficult to follow. Some links are also unclear or illogical, particularly the move from the laptop being essential to “it is not feasible to do job onine without using job.” Use separate paragraphs for the problem, its impact, and your requested action. Shorter sentences and clearer references would make the letter easier to understand.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant vocabulary, including “equipment,” “laptop,” “response,” and “essential,” and the reader can identify the central issue. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the message hard to interpret. For example, “my laptop become very also” does not clearly describe the fault, while “do not response me so much faster” and “not voiable” are not natural ways to express the problem. “A piece of cake” is too informal for a complaint letter. Choose precise terms such as “slow,” “freeze,” or “become unresponsive,” and use a consistently polite, formal register.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to combine ideas using clauses such as “because whenever I try to work on my laptop,” and you communicate a basic sequence of problem, impact, and request. However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and errors are frequent enough to make several sentences difficult to understand. Examples include “i work form my home,” “my laptop become,” and “it do not response,” which show problems with verb forms, agreement, and sentence construction. The long sentence beginning “sir has you know” also lacks clear punctuation and control. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then build longer sentences with one clear main clause and correctly formed supporting clauses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.