Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-11-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic.

What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

 

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent times, there are number of travellers who are trying to explore and visit areas where conditions for existence are quite less. Such developing trend is mainly for research purposes and in effort to explore new things whereas there is a potent threat to life in such type of tourism as well.

On the one hand, humans have always been curious about new things. There have been number of attempts to explore sahara desert, antartica and amazon forest. As the information about these places is limited so interested travellers are increasing day by day. Furthermore, visiting such unexplored areas can be beneficial for research purposes. Studies on different living creatures and their mechanism of survival can be helpful for human community. The idea of hibernation comes from penguins. Hence, these mechanism can be beneficial for human lives.

On the other hand, there are a huge risk of life in visiting such areas as well. There are places in this world where there are deadly animals exist which causes potential threat to life of traveller as well. For instance, Bermuda triangle, from [redacted phone], a huge number of human lives have been lost by visiting it. Therefore, these places should be remained hidden because exploring and touring these areas can cost life as well.

In conclusion, touring places with harsh conditions can have research benefits as well as it can be risky when attempted unprofessionally.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You address both benefits and disadvantages, and your position is broadly clear: difficult destinations may support research but also involve serious risks. The research benefit is relevant, particularly your point about studying how living creatures survive, but the example that “the idea of hibernation comes from penguins” is inaccurate and does not clearly support the claim. The disadvantages are also discussed, though the Bermuda Triangle example is not a convincing illustration of harsh environmental conditions, and the recommendation that such places “should be remained hidden” is not fully explained. The response is also below the required minimum length, which limits how fully you can develop and support these ideas. Add specific, accurate examples and explain the benefits and risks for tourists themselves.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, separate paragraphs beginning “On the one hand” and “On the other hand,” and a conclusion. This makes the two sides of the discussion easy to identify. You also use linking expressions such as “Furthermore,” “Hence,” and “Therefore.” However, some connections are mechanical or unclear. For example, “Hence, these mechanism” does not clearly show how the research point leads to a benefit for people, and the shift from dangerous animals to the Bermuda Triangle is abrupt. The conclusion repeats the main contrast without drawing together the supporting points. To improve progression, make each paragraph develop one central idea, use clear references to earlier points, and explain how each example supports the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some topic-relevant vocabulary, including “explore,” “research purposes,” “survival,” and “potential threat,” which helps communicate the subject. There are also attempts at less common phrasing, such as “conditions for existence” and “unexplored areas,” but several choices are unnatural or imprecise. “Conditions for existence are quite less” is difficult to interpret, while “a huge risk of life” and “remained hidden” do not express the intended meanings naturally. Spelling errors in “antartica” and “sahara” also reduce accuracy. Build a more precise range by learning common collocations for extreme environments and tourism, and check spelling and word forms. More accurate phrasing would make your ideas clearer and more convincing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including clauses with “where,” “as,” and “which,” and most of the main ideas remain understandable. However, some errors in sentence structure, agreement, articles, and verb forms recur. For example, “there are number of travellers” needs an article, “there are a huge risk” has a subject–verb agreement problem, and “where there are deadly animals exist” combines incompatible structures. The sentence “these mechanism can be beneficial” also has a plural agreement error. These issues sometimes make the reader pause, even though the overall meaning is usually recoverable. Practise building accurate complex sentences from simpler clauses, and check each sentence for a clear subject and verb, correct agreement, and appropriate articles.

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